Dave Rosencrans

Nurse, actor, musician, and lover of the Oxford comma.

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

Okay @CocaCola no more messing around. You got us hooked on Oreo Coke Zero and we’ve been cut off. Can we please make it a permanent flavor? #moreoreocoke

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

Watching #Clue on Halloween as is tradition. Wondering if @MJMcKean has any fun memories to share about it! Were you or any of the cast aware of the impact it would have? What a brilliant script!

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

Can we all agree that @ZachGalafankis needs to play J.D. Vance on @nbcsnl this season?

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

@mitchellreports listening to today’s show. Curious if you know if there’s been any stats reported on how a @VP Harris and @PeteButtigieg ticket would look? Maintains PAC money and has two power houses on the ticket.

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

@PicturesFoIder Sooooo I’m guessing the bailiff was a no call/no show that day?

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

What the fuck kind of subhuman, slack-jawed, cousin-fuckin, horseshit scumbag is this guy? I hope whatever truck hits this piece of worm shit backs over him and puts it in park.

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

#vote #tragedy #senselessviolence #deadkids #guncontrol #nra #gay #teachers #nurses #sickening #fixit #potus #vpotus #tennessee #accountability #nomoresmallcaskets #bloodshed #insta https://t.co/nVNbxYAJRi

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

For those keeping score at home… #sickofthisshit #priorities #nationalshame #drag #dragqueen #nra #deadkids #bloodshed #2023 https://t.co/OFK1lToqP8

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

@highbrow_nobrow Said the guy with a head covered in pubes…

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

Honestly, @kevinomccarthy has a bright future in retail. Anyone who can be told “no” six times and still come back for more is destined to be halfway decent at pushing loyalty credit cards, & magazine subscriptions on a group of people that just want him to get out of their face.

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

@davidxdarko I do!!!

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

When you gotta drive around and remind everyone you’re a patriot, but also a low-key daddy jock bottom who is lookin…
#scruff #secretgays #doesheknowwhatitmeans https://t.co/66XtKutPQj

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

@jjmini44 @danagould The face you make when your parents ask you about your browser history🤣🤣🤣 “I’m not a tech guy.”

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

Desperately awaiting what will surely be a #helenkummlicher masterpiece from @SeanBParsons now that Ivana’s been snuffed out by Donny for knowing too much.

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

Honestly it’s to the point where whenever I see our nation’s flag, I just get really uncomfortable. If “they” think my community took the rainbow and tainted it because it is a symbol for our community, then whatever they’ve done with the U.S. flag is straight up bastardization.

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

Anyone else find it ironic Alito, Kavanaugh, Coney Barrett, good ol’ Mitch McConnell, & others inappropriately pushing abortion bans or spewing their other nonsensical bullshit likely wouldn’t be around to ruin lives if we’d had abortion legalized even just 10-15 years earlier?

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

The fact that @alyankovic hasn’t taken Ozzy’s “Crazy Train” and made “Gravy Train” a song about a kid who had it easy in life, seems like a real missed opportunity. Al, can you find a spare moment and knock that out for everyone real quick?

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

So last night’s dream consisted of me bumping into @thelesliejordan as an even littler person as he was trying to find his way out of Walmart with a bag of kettle corn, and somehow by the end, he was being arrested and I was really concerned because he didn’t have his kettle corn

[Dave Rosencrans @realnursedave]

Hey @steaknshake since when did you start serving cheese sauce in thimbles? I know the economy isn’t perfect, but this kind of cutback seems extreme- especially when you’re up charging for cheese fries. #comeonnow #fail #getittogether