Nick Wolfe

The best damn cross-stitcher this side of the Big Blue River

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

I just finished the last "Goosebumps" book... any ideas for a new series? Something similar? Not too scary or too many big words...

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

Sitting at the garage sale have already heard Tubthumpin' and Genie in a Bottle as ringtones. Gotta love white trash rural America!

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

Brynlee puts my hat on and says "Hi, I'm Nick, and I'm here to cook supper for you"

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

My new stapler just came in, Swingline 747! This thing is sick! Shortest down stroke and quickest response time in the industry. #StapleMe

[Brynlee Wolfe @BrynleeWolfe]

First day of college! Look out Yale, i'm bout to make you my bitch

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

@ryanoneil111 maybe Frankie Muniz from Malcom in the Middle, but i'm not so sure

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

Dean Cain has done more for tv than anyone else i can think of

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

Not big on e-cards or whatever these are called.. but this one got me for some reason. Really hit home

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

Ja Rule keeps texting me.. get real bro

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

"MTV had 40,000 applicants for Real World.. that's amazing! Such an even number!" Mitch Hedberg

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

Oops! Did you get some paint on your hand while spray painting your water gun?

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

My toddler’s favorite game is probably “Open & close a screen door 40 times til it breaks then shit my pants.”

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

Everybody says i have a friendly disposition and they love my spinach dip.

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

That is a flirtatious sound

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

@rwolfe310 just described a man to me as "white trash african american"

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

You got that butterfly joke, right?

[J Havelka @JasonHavelka]

Best email inbox ever http://t.co/ZyYDMmD9

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

One of my co-workers is arguing to another that youtube pays you to use your videos, and you get more money for more views #heiscorrect

[Dane Cook @DaneCook]

During a long car trip, through the desert, with broken AC, flu like symptoms, full bladder & you just farted. #WorstTimeToPropose

[Nick Wolfe @realwolfeman]

@Alking1 yeah @rwolfe310 has a huge lady boner over this movie too. Caught her slobbering last night during the commercial!