Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚

My core values are Style, Control, Damage and Aggression.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

@RGRyan777 1) Sometimes.
2) No criteria. Life's too short, and a lot of the advice is BS. I'll follow back when I get a minute, and if I don't like what I hear, unfollow.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

@RGRyan777 The fact that all animals live from beginning to end in amongst myriad human casualties is a legit selling point of my books.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

So my cat just flicked some spit on my lip, and if that was someone's human child I would literally vomit, but she's my soft baby girl, so I just wipe it off.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

Do the Germans have a word for the satisfaction of forwarding an email of an outstanding request to the person who complained that you hadn't followed up?

It feels like they would.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

@jon_cronshaw Manoue... Manooo... Manuve... Maenaeuvroreoe....

Never mind.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

Bask in the chocolate perfection 👌

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

I'm on my ninth Christmas film involving a widower and a local bed and breakfast on its last legs and it's not even December.

I'll let you know if the big event planned for Christmas Eve saves the day.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

Recruiters are like, we looooove, you, you're so talented, you're toooo talented, but the job, no, you can't have that.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

Cats are priceless.

A 90m round trip and a £60 vet fee for and official diagnosis that she is a drama queen, however...

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

History students of the future are gonna need a rhyme to remember all this.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

Nadine Dorries is crying right now.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

Let's be clear: Boris Johnson will not declare himself UNLESS he gets the numbers. He's playing the glory of being "wanted", letting the risk entirely stand on his backers.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

The Lettuce now continues to the next round, where we await the results of Putin vs Celery.

#lettuceWatch

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

For anyone stressed out by UK politics right now, here is a pile of cats I found in a chair in Albania.

#CatsOfTwitter #trussterfuck

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

It's our fifteenth anniversary, and what better way to celebrate than me finding my husband's sunglasses in a place he'd already searched twice.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

I don't know who runs the Canal and River Trusts social media, but they seem to have identified me as their ideal target market for ads, and guys, I'm broke and lazy.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

Turning on the waterworks really does work. It'll get you anything from anxiety medication to sympathetic treatment at the dentist 😂😂😂

It's almost worth the punishing meds withdrawal symptoms.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

@JazzCardoza Hmm, do business launch costs count as bills? Cost that's pretty much my start up costs. But I don't see them as bills, more like a passport to freedom.

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

@Bethyo Because my husband knows better than to interrupt!

[Rebekah Orphan 🇺🇦✒️📚 @RebbieOWrites]

The way things are going, I feel like all those survival skills Ray Mears taught us in the nineties are going to start paying off at last.