Rectal Th'mometer

It's my job to have my head up an ass; what's your excuse... human; writer; comedian; philosopher; jack ass; degenerate. No degree; no excuses; no worries.

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@CNN We should consider outlawing reproduction until things cool down.

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@CBSNews This wouldn't even be in the news if white people did this. #BLM

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Bye, twitter... censor the alt-right, but not the psychotic separatists, leftist hypocrites, or celebrity morons and whores! Good luck! #ftw

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@JuddApatow Trump could forgive all student loan and you'd find fault in it. Go make a movie.

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So, as far as necessary articles of clothing go; do sweaters from the 80s now symbolize an affinity for rape? 🤔

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@pattonoswalt

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some of u might sound like this...

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Ok so this is the most liked tweet I've ever been involved with... and the more likes it is the more I regret my Twitter handle... but... https://t.co/vQLZgQq9In

[Leah Pipes @leahmariepipes]

@rectalthmometer I do however respectfully disagree with you... I think we have more work to do when it comes to equality in this country.

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@MileyCyrus Go where a strap on for little girls to see you in and stop inciting riots.

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The older I get the more shits I seem to be taking in my pants. The hype is real.

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@OMGitsLexi is it cummed?

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@OMGitsLexi Ok, I came... now to find you.

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@jennajameson I'd vote for her.

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One final thought: hope you like jail, Liar McShrillvoice.

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@XNicoleAnistonX you're not my mommy.

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Just admit it already... you backed the candidate that had a vagina; that you knew could win.

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@mcuban Well, YOU'RE smoking Cubans, winning basketball trophies, and flying on private jets... WE are trying to get by.

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@etnow you only have to remind people that voted democrat of this... oh, I guess she was.

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Good to see women still thinking with their heads. https://t.co/2A2lsA4Izp

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@Variety prediction or warning?