elongated muskrat

According to exactly one person, I am a comedy goddess.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

My only solace about trump getting re-elected was that at least my inherited money and investments would growl. The better to do good with it, I naively thought

Nope. Dude has blown that too. Everyone below billionaire status with a B is fucked too.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@kaitlancollins He kept repeating that line about who has the cards, even after Zelinsjy asked him to stop and to be more clear.

This isn't a freaking game to anyone but the bullies T and V in the room.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@betterthanezra

Please visit Oregon! Or Washington State, I'd make the drive. Just please don't make me go to Idaho, they don't like us.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@bradley_lund @fuckyouiquit Just having eaten waffles, yes please to all the good maple syrup.

Being a general fan of bodily autonomy while my chronic pain still lets me mostly live but won't forever: also yes please

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

I am retired. Why does car insurance need to know what I retired from?

@GEICO please explain

That call took forever and that was the most unnecessary question I could have thought of.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@GEICO please explain

I am retired. Why does car insurance need to know what I retired from?

That call took forever and that was the most unnecessary question I could have thought of.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@progressive suddenly dropped me after about fifteen years, admitting it was due to no fault of mine. They just stopped covering Hyundais in the area because TikTok showed people how to steal them.

That can't possibly be legal, can it?

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@jinxeptor 👏👏👏👏

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@TablerJillian

Hi! We have the same name, but I'm Gillian (Said the same)

Are you more tablet or table in pronunciation?

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@kairyssdal Man, I thought you were cool.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

I cracked up at John Fetterman wearing a suit to the Senate today. Very *I am very serious that this is nonsense.*

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@RevMelanieNOLA That omission is super annoying. And I'm mostly familiar with them from B99.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@jinxeptor I go A with this set, as I'm partial to deep red

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@jinxeptor Nope I like them all. A or B more.

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@jinxeptor You're not helping 🤣

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

NASA is launching (pun intended) an ad-free, zero cost streaming service tomorrow and I for one am over the moon about it

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

I got carded and ma'am-ed in the same sentence today. Not sure what to make of that

(only my second ma'am-ing, same bodega but different cashier)

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

@MerriamWebster Noah Webster

[elongated muskrat @redefenestrated]

I utterly hate the idea of mean pranks. It isn't funny if everyone isn't laughing

Instead, go around putting googly eyes on stuff