'Arry Redknapp

Next England manager. Wheeler Dealer. These tweets are my own, not Harry Redknapps.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

Subs - All them dirty facking Leicester boys. And Dwight Yorke. #lads

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

CF - Adam Johnson. Christ lad you need educating. So does she - literally - she hadn't finished hers.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

CF - Wazza. Most caps. Most goals. Most grannys. She was too old even for me Wayne you dirty sod.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

LM - Georgie Best. What. A. Facking. Hero. Split more legs than he did defences. And that is facking thousands.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

CM - Giggsy. Keep it in the family Ryan. It's always the quiet ones... that end up shagging their brothers wife. #Disgrace

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

CM - Jamie O'Hara. Fiesty little shit when I had him. Loves a bit of skirt nearly as much as he loves a new club.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

RM - Becks. Love the boy. Getting away with shagging his boys nanny was almost as good as me getting away with taxes 😉

#HushHush

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

LB - Cashley. Was going to put Bridgey in for the crack but anyone who cheats on Cheryl FernandezColeTweedyPayneVersiniCowell needs to be in

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

CB - John Terry. You dirty sly facker. Your team mates bird? Have a word.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

CB - Rio. Got a lot of time and respect for the boy but that shit in Cyprus with my nephew and Keiron Sicknote was out of order.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

RB - Danny Simpson. He was courting that Tulisa piece wasn't he? Her nosh job video was the biggest anticlimax ever (besides Raducioiu) #WHU

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

GK - That shite Liverpool one, Karius. Not a shagger as such but Liverpool are facked every time he plays.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

Manager - Pards. You dirty bastard. It'll come out one day lad.

Assistant Manager/Player/Captain/All round cunt - Johnathan Terry

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

Right let's av a crack at a #ShaggerXI seeing as all the good games have been on MOTD already. It's interactive so I'll take suggestions.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

And as for that @DeludedBrendan £30m for Dembele! He must think Slaven fell off a Christmas tree. £4m at best. Jock Prem is absolute dross.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

Jermain bless him, £6m is a fantastic offer. Heard West Ham offered Nordtveit as part of the deal too so Davey needs to reconsider really.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

Snotgrass is in the last few months of his contract anyway and he's just a poor mans Charlie Adams. I'd have gone in at £1.5m.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

Notice my 'ammers getting some grief about their transfer bids. I ain't got a problem with it, it's classic 'Arry #wheelerdealing #proud

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

Never mind, Hull's a shithole anyway.

['Arry Redknapp @redknapp_harry]

You've got a 50/50 chance of winning the Greek league, its either Olympiakos or Peterpanithighkos every year. My nan could win the title.