reid

i'm trying my best y'all
he/him

[reid @reideroo]

this came out when I was in high school and you KNOW we singing it all the time

[Pebbles Decides @Mothpebble]

Found a better quality version of the first china il commercial via wayback machine

[ShinyMcShine: Simpsons Quotes @ShinyMcShine_]

"This man's appendix is about to burst. Luckily, I have my trusty pocketknife."

"Stand back!"

"Thank you, Dr. Hibbert."

"Don't thank me. Thank the knife."

[reid @reideroo]

my girlfriend's family actually did have a Disney trip planned in late September 2001 and still went and it was indeed apparently a ghost town

[Quinton Reviews @Q_Review]

What's the earliest footage we have of an American Disney park after 9/11?

I've always heard the parks were like ghost towns for a while and I’m fascinated by the idea of some guy waking up on 9/12 and going “today is the perfect day to enjoy short lines at Disney World”

[reid @reideroo]

lmao I actually did go on a mission trip to Memphis in high school. we painted houses

[Black Radioactive Boi 🚂☢ @TokenOfTheMonth]

Mission trip christians are so funny to me like Jesus always takes them to Costa Rica or Panama or Amazonas but never like East St Louis or West Memphis

[reid @reideroo]

Heartbreaking: I Wanted to be More Included at Work and They Just Invited Me to a Monthly Leadership Meeting

[reid @reideroo]

oh my god this is real. I thought they made a whole trailer as a joke but I looked it up and this is a real movie. Hollywood is back baby

[Paul Rust @paulrust]

Everybody’s talking about #TheNapaBoys only in theaters February 27th 2026!

[reid @reideroo]

my girlfriend and I are the same height. this test would be so easy

[Patricia 🇺🇸 @1109Patricia]

Cute memory test

[reid @reideroo]

don't knock the casbah until you've rocked the casbah

[reid @reideroo]

So there's this little store called Aldi...

[Minga @KillaMinga]

Imagine a minimal store named “Store” that sells nothing but products with no branding whatsoever

[reid @reideroo]

my girlfriend is better than me at pips, but I am better at connections

[henry the vacuum @henry_sux]

ideal wife is someone who is good at the jeopardy categories that i am not good at

[reid @reideroo]

just got a discover card wrapped... we can officially stop this now

[reid @reideroo]

I can't believe this idiot represents me

[Kaitlan Collins @kaitlancollins]

Sen. Markwayne Mullin: “I would support removing the regime that’s killing their own people.”

So you’re in favor of taking out the Iranian regime?

“I am at this point.”

Moments later, Mullin says, “We’re not into regime change. This isn't the Arab Spring...”

But you just said you are for regime change?

Mullin: "No, I said I’m for the strikes."

But you said before that you’re for taking out the regime?

[reid @reideroo]

shampoo for my real friends, real poo for my sham friends

[tendollar @tendollardanny]

page gap relationship (she reads more than you)

[descriptive display name that is way too long and @mrgracemugabe]

new intern: how bad could my first day in the emergency department be? I assume it will be the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
doctor robbie: we average ten thousand deaths a day here in “the pitt”. you’ll get used to it (suddenly weepy) but you’ll never get used to it….

[reid @reideroo]

went to the symphony this weekend and did this every time they played a segment that they used in an episode of 30 Rock

[reid @reideroo]

ME

[Buitengebieden @buitengebieden]

Baby beaver cleaning his chubby belly.. 😊

[reid @reideroo]

even the Honda Civic... I think this guy is actually me

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Someone just stopped me in the hallway and said, "Hey, since you're here, can you help me real quick?"

I said, "I'm actually about to head into a meeting, but submit a ticket and I'll grab it this afternoon."

There is no meeting. I'm going to eat lunch in my car.

But I learned a long time ago: if you help people in the hallway, they'll keep stopping you in the hallway.

The ticketing system exists for a reason. It creates a paper trail, it prioritizes work, and most importantly, it gives me control over when I deal with things.

Hallway support is chaos. Tickets are order.

Also, about 30% of the time, people don't submit the ticket. Which means it wasn't actually important.

They just wanted free labor while I was walking by.

The person looked annoyed. I don't care.

I'm not a vending machine you can just use whenever you see me.

I'm a professional with a process. And that process involves me eating a burrito in my Honda Civic for the next 30 minutes.

[reid @reideroo]

I'm gonna soap up the sun. I'm gonna tell everyone to scrub-a-dub. I'm gonna soap up the sun.