Madeline Adelle Phillips

Snacktress. Basic Bog Witch. Typos ar emy brand

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

Shout out to spotted lantern flies for the daily pest killing practice - they've really helped me up my roach killing game

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

Old women living alone is so romantic to me. Someday I will be one

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

I love locking my roomba in my room. I love it

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

I don't want to eat anything that is not a pickle

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

I want to age like Willem DaFoe

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

Did you just google "executive dysfunction lunches vegetarian" or are you normal?

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

50% of the time I open Venmo instead of twitter

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

I need a fanny pack I can fit a book in

[Smucker's @smuckers]

@reignofmadeline We’re continuing to work to keep bringing Uncrustables to fans by adding capacity & improving efficiency at our manufacturing facilities. We hope to have your favorite variety back on shelves soon and suggest speaking with store managers for the best local availability info.

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

@castingbyally THIS! Like the *wisdom* it requires to schedule getting bones extracted from one's body

[Angus Cloud @anguscloud]

Fexi

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

If you're not googling your crush at 8:07 AM on a Wednesday when you need to leave for work in three minutes, you're doing #piscesseason wrong

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

Has anyone else noticed the national shortage of uncrustables? Hey @smuckers, u okay bb?

[Brooklyn Poets @BrooklynPoets]

"but fake fish could not foresee / the day / real fish dared to dance" —Madeline Phillips #BrooklynPoetsYawp

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

Anyone else get magenta and fuchsia confused all the time? Is fuchsia just cooler?

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

"Buddhists love to tell stories" - Dr. Malcolm David Eckel in his @Wondrium lecture. As an actor and writer flirting with this tradition, DUDE SAME

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

"Maybe the ship is genderqueer" - @br3gz

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

Brian just informed me that ALL ships are women. And machinery too. I don't like it

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

Also did anyone else just discover that Oasis is British 😳

[Madeline Adelle Phillips @reignofmadeline]

Wait is "beat around the bush" a lewd saying?