reilly green

"Can you do the worm?"

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

Hi yes I’d like to cancel my membership to adulthood? The advertising was extremely misleading and I’m not having a good time. Thanks.

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

A man at the gas station RAN up to my car and tried to use my dog as a way to hit on me today, which resulted in him almost losing a finger, good girl Benny🥰

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

When/why did people stop being nice? Can everyone just be nice to each other? Please?

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

I work at a vet & today I got to pick up a puppy from an owner outside & I teared up & had to collect myself before going into the back because he was so cute where as at my other jobs I used to tear up because I hated it so much & people were so mean- I’ve peaked

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

We get it you’re quarantined with your significant other!! Precious. Now quit it :-)

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

To those of you quarantined with your S.O., cherish the hell out of that

Sincerely,
A very sad long distance girlfriend

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

Not good Bill!! Not. Good.

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

I’ve gotten to the point where if you bring your dog to curbside pickup at my job I will tip YOU.

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

Dear teenagers: if you think you’re big enough to go out to eat without mommy and daddy then you’re big enough to tip your servers.

That’s it. That’s the tweet.

[James @CaucasianJames]

i can’t go to war i have acne

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

@JordanGreen24x Love you babe😂😂

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

My boyfriend is dog sitting my baby while I’m away and she ate some of my underwear before I left and he’s been giving me updates and vigorously watching her poo to make sure she passes it. Also bought me new underwear within minutes of her doing it.

A MAN.

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

Y’all. My dog is THRIVING at the top. You go baby girl👏🏼

[High5Sports @High5Sports]

The goodest of boys @hhshoyafootball

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

@High5Sports @HHSHoyaSports @hhshoyafootball The goodest of girls* (my dog is way more famous than I’ll ever be)

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

“I am so excited to go home and watch hannah montana” -me in 2007 and also me today

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

My mom showed up to dinner like this tonight and could not understand why I was so amused

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

@Shloobie_Doo @JordanGreen24x Please don’t encourage him

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

Y’all I have been saying this and saying this. Retest drivers once they hit 65👏🏼

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

#NewProfilePic

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

@RobJustJokin

[reilly green @reillygreen_]

What’s worse than heartbreak? I’ll tell you what: getting a Venmo notification only to find out it’s a monthly activity update