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[☃ @repebecapa]

OLD SPICE: BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SMELL LIKE VICTORIA BECKHAM http://t.co/IGaW254s3J

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/6YrddRa6bq These microwaved pot stickers taste like fixed income.

[☃ @repebecapa]

Rehab is for quitters, and Lindsay Lohan is no quitter. http://t.co/KgPztOATDT

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/QM0azmfHwg The primary function of a necktie is to show the direction of a man's brain.

[☃ @repebecapa]

"This is not a drill!" ~Guy holding a hammer. http://t.co/SgsBjIqR1b

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/TlrHSeSvRZ I'm into cryogenics. All the cool kids are doing it.

[☃ @repebecapa]

Our youngest has finally graduated from baby bottles to 2-liters of soda. http://t.co/L9rchfZIwe

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/fJS3xicrSV My children annoy me so I’m leaving everything in my will to a nap I took in 2007.

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/Yl4RM2DorD Please pray for me as I make the difficult transition from pumpkin spice to eggnog lattes.

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/6MCyHpGEZN Being a vegetarian is a big missed steak.

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/nSflcvGARk Won a time machine on Ebay. Disappointed when I received a clock.

[☃ @repebecapa]

I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms. http://t.co/60dFOGbFzZ

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/hTsJvP4TB7 "Wouldn't it suck to be homeless? Come try it." -- campgrounds

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/e4v5FJHga4 "What?"- pothead owl

[☃ @repebecapa]

If it requires pants or a bra ... it aint happening. http://t.co/Nnf4iza3Lj

[☃ @repebecapa]

My jeans smell weird so I guess I should wash them in two weeks. http://t.co/EbvQQIToQ1

[☃ @repebecapa]

When you anticipate, you make an ant out of I, ci and pate. http://t.co/o3sawSXQ8a

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/MzvVgHjbiY Oh Thursday, you teasy bitch you.

[☃ @repebecapa]

http://t.co/st2UywUMqd you don't need to thank everyone on facebook for your birthday messages, they were not sincere.

[☃ @repebecapa]

Homophobic means you're scared of your house. http://t.co/O24CeybChs