R

[R @resmaine]

@jesseraeee Losing it, too. So separately, but also together

[R @resmaine]

I want to take a moment to appreciate my partner’s patience. I’m really something else sometimes. Like when? Like when I open the door while he is peeing and compliment him on hydrating enough by the color of his stream.

[R @resmaine]

@jesseraeee Do you really

[R @resmaine]

@jesseraeee @holychrissy @MaraWilson Oh no it’s me 🥴

[R @resmaine]

Got a day off from school. Cheers, Mum @SonjaLibrarian

[R @resmaine]

ISO: An anti aging cream that works as well as the magazine sample one I used in 8th grade that made my eyes swell shut overnight and made my mom thought I had pink eye

[R @resmaine]

@kevingtsai @ZacharyHerrick1

[R @resmaine]

@MarvAntMore Until our grandchildren start using it unironically and we give them the ole, “Back in my day...”

[R @resmaine]

@k_kiehn I want to share this secret. Once, as a sophomore, I stole a math quiz and accused my teacher of losing it.

[R @resmaine]

Anyone else go back and forth between “Teach them, be curious and help them learn” and “I don’t want you in my life because your ignorance infuriates me” all day?

[R @resmaine]

I bet the overlap of people who refuse to wear masks and people who refuse to use condoms is vast

[R @resmaine]

@jesseraeee Can you not blend the two? Niche market

[R @resmaine]

We can’t pretend we didn’t encourage it with a post-Obama meme wave. IE:

[Neil Webb @neilmwebb]

"You are not working from home; you are at your home during a crisis trying to work."

I've heard this twice today. I think it's an important distinction worth emphasising.

[R @resmaine]

@SonjaLibrarian @hosienation Perfection

[R @resmaine]

Me 2wks ago:They get married w/o seeing each other? 😳🤣
Me now, calmly:He uses meth, has a mullet, 2 husbands, ran for office, a predator runs a cult, a woman killed her husband-Scarface is in it. What? No not about tigers why did you think that? #TigerKing

[R @resmaine]

@jesseraeee Me

[R @resmaine]

@jesseraeee *Company only makes really small rings

[R @resmaine]

Me shopping: I’m buying this shit I don’t need just because it’s on sale. Over priced or junk. I don’t even like this place.
Me talking to someone: I love it there, too!! Let’s plan a trip together. So fun! 🤗🥰

[R @resmaine]

@MichaelaOkla @ZacharyHerrick1 You ate the hot pockets tonight though