xanthan gum🌋

cringe | fag | black | otaku | he/him

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

Customer was laughing at the roast of kevin heart jokes in the big august of 2026 (they were never funny to begin with) #comedy

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

just cracked up thinking about how charlie kirks kids undoubtedly seeing all the kirkified posts too probably mad asf

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

Whoever left me a half ripped 5 dollar bill in my tip jar you're going straight to hell wtf man

[michael hess @mchlhess]

Friend making $20/hr as a server: “Don't worry, bro, this one's on me, and you'll get the next”

Friend making $470k as a senior software engineer: “Can you Venmo me $9.62 for your share of the Uber ride?”

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

@travistrikes liike actually just a bundle of joy i love her already djdj

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

me and my daughter i carried to term (just met)

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

@GotaLoveYaoi @hulu

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

genuinely how it feels listening to music in your bed alone at night

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

when he trying to ignore it and the saxophone starts getting louder so you gotta stay real quiet on the creek

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

When Walgreens texts you your Rx prescription is delayed again and again and again and again and 🫠🤭

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

Ate auntie anne's and shopped at hot topic and got my ear pierced at the mall today 🤭😎

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

Recognized someone at work and pretended not to know them today

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

Just watching this early bird get a worm 🌄

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

Told my coworker i got 7 hours of sleep and she said "yea i thought you look like you didn't want to die" 🤭

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

@eddyexc Thaank you 😶‍🌫️

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

Fat as fuck, dog was cute + my hair looked like a star today

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

now that I'm done after a long days of work i can play my stress inducing horrifying comfort game

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

theres a reason Work rhymes with Kirk

[𑣲Princess Maya.* @pinkfemmecess]

all my non black oomfs better be ready to give me $15 tmrw #notjoking

[xanthan gum🌋 @respecme]

Boss told me yesterday she could recommend me a tattoo shop but told me "fair warning the guys a nazi."

You know what sure bro, thanks for the warning 😭