dallas pinter

mean tweets and some memes maybe 🤔

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

My period came late and now I'm on schedule to have it during every holiday 👍🏼

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

My baby doesn't wake up when he's rested. He wakes up when I'm about to be :)

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Bitch, is this a cult?!

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Bitch, is this ragebait?!

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Me: Ai can you create a nice picture of me with some of my dead relatives 🥺

Ai: best I can do is a completely different family 👍🏽

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

My OB: so have you been eating healthy and limiting carbs like we discussed?

Me: the Dow is over 50,000!!

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

$240 just for @Labcorp to NOT take my fasting blood prior to consuming the glucose solution and now I have to do my screening all over again 🙄 #dobetter #doyourjob #7monthspregnant

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Anyone wanna go Christmas caroling we're singing Untouched by The Veronicas

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Me seeing two pink lines 🥴

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

You're so funny!

Thanks I used to find these packed in my lunchbox:

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

The Nightmare Before Christmas walked so Robot Chicken could run 🎃💀🎄

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

POV: you're about to encounter some of the most oblivious, insufferable people the world has to offer.

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

They should invent a Trader Joe's for people who know how to properly navigate a parking lot

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Knowing that my packages are arriving today, and seeing that they are not out for delivery by noon makes my blood boil. Why is @amazon lying to ppl 🙄 😒

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Them: are you crying?
Me: no
Them: look at me
Me:

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Me coming out of mercury retrograde with morning sickness, fatigue, constipation, and 5 extra lbs from retaining water:

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Me seeing two pink lines

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Me when I'm getting ready to eat and I hear my dog causing chaos in the other room

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

Spot the difference

[dallas pinter @retnipsallad]

My upstairs neighbors are so loud!! I'm waiting for the day one of them kids come crashing through the ceiling 😭😭😭