🎙 Is this thing on? 🎙

The first half is over, time to make the second half count.

[🎙 Is this thing on? 🎙 @retr04ctive]

When does a joke become a Dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

[🎙 Is this thing on? 🎙 @retr04ctive]

#NewProfilePic

[🎙 Is this thing on? 🎙 @retr04ctive]

@megantisocial Meh

[🎙 Is this thing on? 🎙 @retr04ctive]

One of the most fucked up things the universe will do to you, is let you meet the right person….at the wrong time.

[🎙 Is this thing on? 🎙 @retr04ctive]

I was today years old when I found out you can edit a pic. In Twitter.

[🎙 Is this thing on? 🎙 @retr04ctive]

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.”
-Jordan Belfort

[The Mandalorian @themandalorian]

Reunited.

The new season of #TheMandalorian starts streaming March 1, only on @DisneyPlus.

[🎙 Is this thing on? 🎙 @retr04ctive]

Someone told me that I need be pithy to be popular on Twitter.
I’ve got no pith.
This pithes me off.