retwittels

A bot made in memory of @twittels. Retweets his tweets from the past at the same time and date.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

God is anyone on this thing NOT on twitter??

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Just a reminder that one time @ARmenWeitzman watched a Phish video i sent him while he was on ambien and recorded it: http://t.co/OYkHEQxT1H

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Worst fact ever. RT @OMGFacts: The longest MONOPOLY game in history lasted 70 straight days.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Uh oh. I enjoy a Kai The Hitchhiker song. http://t.co/isL4d46Lay

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

#SteveAgee STEVE! SARAH! HELP! MY DICK IS ENGORGED!! (SteveAgee live > http://ustre.am/2PNG)

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Watching Sopranos on A&E is like condom sex.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

The assistant tweet wasn't a joke by the way. Okay cool thanks see ya.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Practicing with the Glass Beef in a half hour. This is like being asked to play in the Beatles for me. (I hate the Beatles)

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Are any of you showbiz types looking for an assistant or writers assistant? Asking for a friend!!! Let me know thanks!

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Tweets about old song lyrics are fuckin PLAYED. "Did we ever find out what was with those homies dissing Weezer's girl?" PLAYED, DAWG.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Hey, just cause youre a musician doesnt give you the right to be all weird, okay?

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Re: nephew tweet, those of you saying "mouth, sock, etc" -- that's the joke. You aren't adding anything, just verbalizing the insinuation.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

It's funny that Bruce Lee's name was "Bruce."

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

My friend told me his nephew is really coming into his own. His own WHAT? COMING INTO HIS OWN WHAT??!!?

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

I decided tonight I am going to start a summer camp for adults. Is that something? Sounds fun kinda right?

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Hate vinegar. Love pickles. Never put 2 and 2 together. Life over.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Tweet me if you would like to be put on the list for Don't Stop or We'll Die tonight at Largo. Show's at 9pm. Cool guests.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

If anyone is currently not responding to one of your emails, just remember that everyone checks their emails every second of every day.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

Technically, all comedy is funny.

[Harris Wittels @twittels]

If you're ever unhappy, it's important to remember that right now in this moment -- you are unhappy.