Richard Schirmer

Probable non-goblin. Most of what I do here involves having a laugh at comic book covers.

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Kids come running for the flavor of curse!

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

A friend told me his mom found some of his old comics, and asked if I wanted them. Of course I did! Thought it’d be a shoebox or two. Seven comic boxes later, it looked like the ‘90s threw up into my house. The art is…a lot. I’m going to put up one picture a day until I’m out!

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Were they available, I think this would be applicable most times.

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

I love the depiction of these organs. It’s like someone had them described to them and then decided to draw them. We are all familiar with the two purple pumpkins inside ourselves, right? There they are, connected right to the heart!

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

This is how you get put on some pretty specific lists, Superman.

#superman

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Notoriously anti-gizzard, Superman.

#superman

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

I’d like to make the sentence “That’s not how ______ work(s)!” but I’m not sure which noun goes in there first. Gotta love ‘90s comic art!

#violator
#badrock

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Let this be a lesson that Batman is apparently waiting for people to make unnecessarily specific rhetorical questions such as this.

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Yes, my first thought upon seeing someone dressed like that would obviously be “I wonder if he’s dangerously fireproof?”

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Know what makes a combover more noticeable? That.

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Before email, things were…different.

#aquaman

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Adventures in Criminal Space Welding!

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

You didn’t think they could see you, but then you wore THAT.

#captainamerica
#spiderman

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

There aren’t nearly enough horror settings where people critique the monster as it closes in.

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

@robertliefeld It looks like a demon hunter’s glaive from World of Warcraft.

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

I mean, who didn’t spend their first night in a city dangling upside down out of a tree? I certainly did.

…

…what?

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

How else is one supposed to speak to what appears to be a 34 year old child in suspenders?

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Civilization itself weeps at his mere mention. The land and sea cower. There is no hope. There is no escape. Nobody is as feared as Mr. Tinkle is.

Nobody.

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

“How do people keep knowing who I am? Am I famous or something, and nobody ever told me?”

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

This might be the most negative and critical thing Doctor Doom has ever considered about himself. He’d never say it out loud, of course. Even thinking it like this is…quite something.

#doctordoom

[Richard Schirmer @revdarkwombat]

Doc Ock, whose additional arms are amazingly strong and nearly indestructible, uses them to walk, and uses his normal arms, with all the upper arm strength of a career scientist, to grab Spider-Man, who has superhuman strength. All good ideas.

#spiderman
#doctoroctopus