Ross Fleming

🏳️‍🌈 These are my own views 🏳️‍🌈

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@LynseyDiva I believe there’s an even funnier video of you picking up your first passenger

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@LynseyDiva Seen it IRL last Friday. It’s even snazzier in person 🏳️‍🌈

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@ScotRail Hi Ste, I’ve got a strange lost property query I could use some help with. I’ve sent you a DM

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@LynseyDiva Remember when I was served chocolate fudge cake with milk in Frankie and Benny’s

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@rosscojy What I want to know is, do cheesy chips count as a substantial meal?

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@rosscojy Is that when you say you can’t eat another bite but deep down you know you’ll eat more in about half an hour?

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@jessphillips He reminded me of Jonah Ryan from Veep 😬

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@ScotRail GQS

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@bricklyrspice @rossco1512 I thought of you

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@rossco1512 I think it’s called the Saville Fallacy

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@ashleystorrie @ashleysshow Make an conscious decision to park near a trolley bay at Aldi so you don’t have to walk miles once you’re finished shopping and pissing at 3:00am

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@brokenbottleboy I asked my mother to do this and her drag name was Wilhelmina McFluffy. It couldn’t be more perfect!

[Tessa Coates @TessaCoates]

The thing I will miss most about the Olympics this year is idly turning on a sport I’ve never seen before, and ten minutes later muttering ‘my god she’s going to need more than a 4.7 if she wants to wrestle her title back from the Hungarian’

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@Flambo100 I have entered the age of Aquarius apparently!

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

@Flambo100 Brighton and Hove?

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

If anyone needs convinced of the importance of face masks, I recommend sneezing on an iPad with your mouth uncovered and see how it looks 😱😱😱

[Steve & Karen @TheSandK]

When the dog nicks your mam’s false teeth 😂

[Alan Grant @alangrantuk]

I get annoyed when I see trans people being given the, “that’s not how nature intended” stuff. Maybe it’s because I wear really strong glasses (it’s like I’ve got two very stylish telescopes strapped to my face) and my “as nature intended” state is walking headfirst into walls.

[Ross Fleming @rflm88]

One of my neighbours is playing Nickelback in their garden. What the deal with selling houses in lockdown?