Just cuz I don't like myself doesn't mean I'm going to bring more harm to those around me. This is my weight to bear and dammit let me do something myself for once. Carve my own path, let me have some sort of control over my life, even if in the end its all an illusion
The knee-jerk reaction to anyone complimenting me is "sounds fake but ok" but I bite my tongue with a thank you cuz my issues arent gonna become your problem.
I know what I am
I know who I am
and Im not gonna let that make anyone being a good person feel bad for trying to be nice
Only thing I've learned from working service jobs is how to hate holidays. There's no more, "can't wait to grill by the pool and visit friends and famy" just "ah, time and a half, guess I CAN pay the bills on time this month"
Off to a GREAT start this morning.
Appetite ruined by my eggs having blood in them. Gonna wait a bit and find something else for breakfast. Internet says its safe but red eggs just don't look right
Really, the standard for me to wanna start something romantic with someone is as low as "talk to me like a person" and not ONE guy has been able to do that for me since my last relationship. And my friends wonder why I STILL miss the idea of him all these years later