Casually took a sip of my Poland Spring water bottle thinking it was water because why wouldn’t it be. It was vodka. I just took a whole ass shot of vodka before 8 AM.
What are the odds my box numbers win me back the $25 I spent one might ask? Not a chance… because the Patriots scoring anything at this point are slim to none lolz.
@JoeBiden real nice job with our health insurance you prick. I’ve had a chronic illness since age 12, would you like to personally cover my treatment that now isn’t covered tomorrow thnx to you?
Or what about the thousands of women who are expected to deliver babies this month?
@noormarji13 Can you at least give me a slight heads up so I can buy a gift but also plan for someone to throw the mash potatoes at the wall when they find out?
If they don’t win I’m calling in a personal complaint to MTV—they deserve the win and I need this anxiety to end already.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Ive been watching @TheChallenge for almost 20 yrs & I swear the best mome ever was when @TheOfficial_CT dragged @johnnybananas on his back..until I just watched @MTVnany catch that freaking stick.
Idk whats better, the save, @tjlavin ‘s reaction, or 🍌s deep breath b4 the save.