Rob’s Limericks

Topical and Silly Limericks

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

Did he call her Your Highness or Ma’am,
Did he prefer corned beef of Spam,
A shame that it’s his time to go,
Some things, I guess, we’ll never know,
Like would he have got a telegram?

#PrincePhilip #Nearly100
#Telegram

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

Louis once again covers Joe Exotic,
And in his style that’s loveable if a bit robotic,
Joe maybe a thug,
But Louis wanted a hug,
I think he might find cats and guns erotic.

#JoeExotic @louistheroux
https://t.co/w2OWKl4LPC

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

There once was a lady with a large derrière,
Who went on telly and laid her life bare,
She went into fashion,
So that she could cash in,
And now she’s a billionaire.

#KimKardashian
https://t.co/NU3t5WPXnL

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

How does Lammy remain so polite,
With someone so sure they’re right,
I don’t want to be mean,
But poor old Jean,
Is a racist and talking such shite.

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

Somewhere in Egypt that’s rather remote,
There’s a big problem with a very big boat,
Just like the Thai cave,
We need Elon to be brave,
And invent something crazy to help it afloat.

#EVERGIVEN #ElonMusk

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

To the worlds most wonderful mother,
I couldn’t want any better or other,
While the family is great,
There’s one point of debate,
It’s a shame about the brother.

#MothersDay

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

If you got some right royal blues,
And want to stay out of the news,
You can relieve the strain,
Speak Oprah and explain,
How tough life is in a Duchess’s shoes.

#HarryMeghanOprah #TheFirm

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

With the virus on the decrease,
Soon the nightmare may cease,
We could be free,
From distancing and PPE,
Now Boris has shared his slow release.

#RoadmapOutOfLockdown #Covid_19

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

Hancock is found to have broken the law,
He’s given excuses many think are poor,
He gave contracts to a mate
Published details too late,
Perhaps it’s time to show him the door.

#Marr #Hancock

https://t.co/dZI6mLwV1D

[BBC Politics @BBCPolitics]

#Marr asks Health Secretary Matt Hancock if he would apologise for acting unlawfully over not revealing Covid pandemic contracts within a 30 day period

https://t.co/7MmEcui7Xd

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

When Trump tried to cling to the throne,
He did a little bit more than just moan,
He didn’t go quiet,
He started a riot,
And got let off cos McConnell has no back bone.

#McConnell #ImpeachmentTrial

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

The government must think the NHS are bored,
So they say it time for a little reorg,
To fix the block,
They could start with Hancock,
And send him off to the morgue.

#NHSReform
https://t.co/MzNDZZvdL3

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

The government is having a big debate,
About paying £500 to self-isolate,
But if you stay out of trouble,
You could get double,
By letting Boris check your prostate.

#COVID19
https://t.co/OK5iB1PQlp

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

Hey Trump it’s the end of the show,
Please tell us now how did it go,
Is America great again,
Did you find a swamp to drain,
Roll credits, goodbye, cheerio.

#ImpeachedTwice #ByeByeTrump #MAGAFOREVER #InaugurationDay

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

One company has been totally killing,
With comedies, docs and drama that’s thrilling,
They’ve taught us chess,
Before we undress,
For an evening of Netflix and chilling.

#Netflix #QueensGambit @NetflixIsAJoke #200million
https://t.co/W5e4UFoy9j

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

It’s not normal pre-tournament routine,
For Djokovic to be stuck in quarantine,
So he asked for a private house,
Caviar, a dancing mouse,
And a gold plated bidet and latrine.

#AustralianOpen #Djokovic
https://t.co/1pJ73FiGKp

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

Rather than be in a tasty dish,
Jacob RM would rather our fish,
Are left by a dock,
To fester and rot,
Than admit Brexit’s a pile of pointless pish.

#JacobReesMogg #BrexitReality

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

I guess that many are thinkin’,
We are solders sleeping under Lincoln,
Protesters came in like a flood,
Fighting and howling for blood,
Egged on by a President that’s stinkin’.

https://t.co/cMLG3LSFLF

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

It’s funny how some being so “glad”,
Can make many others angry and mad,
It really will not take that long,
To say I’m sorry I got it wrong,
But it does take ball which he wishes he had.

#FreeSchoolMeal #GMB
@MattHancock

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

Borat may not have made a moviefilm twice,
If it wasn’t for President Trump and his Vice,
He caused offence,
Interrupting Mike Pence,
And the rest of us thought, very nice.

#Borat2

[Rob’s Limericks @rick_limer]

It took a riot and some people to die,
For Twitter to finally say goodbye,
He’s out of work,
He’s a total berk,
Cheerio to the man with the silly red tie.

#TrumpBanned