Did he call her Your Highness or Ma’am,
Did he prefer corned beef of Spam,
A shame that it’s his time to go,
Some things, I guess, we’ll never know,
Like would he have got a telegram?
#PrincePhilip#Nearly100#Telegram
Louis once again covers Joe Exotic,
And in his style that’s loveable if a bit robotic,
Joe maybe a thug,
But Louis wanted a hug,
I think he might find cats and guns erotic.
#JoeExotic@louistheroux
https://t.co/w2OWKl4LPC
There once was a lady with a large derrière,
Who went on telly and laid her life bare,
She went into fashion,
So that she could cash in,
And now she’s a billionaire.
#KimKardashian
https://t.co/NU3t5WPXnL
Somewhere in Egypt that’s rather remote,
There’s a big problem with a very big boat,
Just like the Thai cave,
We need Elon to be brave,
And invent something crazy to help it afloat.
#EVERGIVEN#ElonMusk
To the worlds most wonderful mother,
I couldn’t want any better or other,
While the family is great,
There’s one point of debate,
It’s a shame about the brother.
#MothersDay
If you got some right royal blues,
And want to stay out of the news,
You can relieve the strain,
Speak Oprah and explain,
How tough life is in a Duchess’s shoes.
#HarryMeghanOprah#TheFirm
With the virus on the decrease,
Soon the nightmare may cease,
We could be free,
From distancing and PPE,
Now Boris has shared his slow release.
#RoadmapOutOfLockdown#Covid_19
Hancock is found to have broken the law,
He’s given excuses many think are poor,
He gave contracts to a mate
Published details too late,
Perhaps it’s time to show him the door.
#Marr#Hancock
https://t.co/dZI6mLwV1D
#Marr asks Health Secretary Matt Hancock if he would apologise for acting unlawfully over not revealing Covid pandemic contracts within a 30 day period
https://t.co/7MmEcui7Xd
When Trump tried to cling to the throne,
He did a little bit more than just moan,
He didn’t go quiet,
He started a riot,
And got let off cos McConnell has no back bone.
#McConnell#ImpeachmentTrial
The government must think the NHS are bored,
So they say it time for a little reorg,
To fix the block,
They could start with Hancock,
And send him off to the morgue.
#NHSReform
https://t.co/MzNDZZvdL3
The government is having a big debate,
About paying £500 to self-isolate,
But if you stay out of trouble,
You could get double,
By letting Boris check your prostate.
#COVID19
https://t.co/OK5iB1PQlp
One company has been totally killing,
With comedies, docs and drama that’s thrilling,
They’ve taught us chess,
Before we undress,
For an evening of Netflix and chilling.
#Netflix#QueensGambit@NetflixIsAJoke#200million
https://t.co/W5e4UFoy9j
It’s not normal pre-tournament routine,
For Djokovic to be stuck in quarantine,
So he asked for a private house,
Caviar, a dancing mouse,
And a gold plated bidet and latrine.
#AustralianOpen#Djokovic
https://t.co/1pJ73FiGKp
Rather than be in a tasty dish,
Jacob RM would rather our fish,
Are left by a dock,
To fester and rot,
Than admit Brexit’s a pile of pointless pish.
#JacobReesMogg#BrexitReality
I guess that many are thinkin’,
We are solders sleeping under Lincoln,
Protesters came in like a flood,
Fighting and howling for blood,
Egged on by a President that’s stinkin’.
https://t.co/cMLG3LSFLF
It’s funny how some being so “glad”,
Can make many others angry and mad,
It really will not take that long,
To say I’m sorry I got it wrong,
But it does take ball which he wishes he had.
#FreeSchoolMeal#GMB@MattHancock
Borat may not have made a moviefilm twice,
If it wasn’t for President Trump and his Vice,
He caused offence,
Interrupting Mike Pence,
And the rest of us thought, very nice.
#Borat2
It took a riot and some people to die,
For Twitter to finally say goodbye,
He’s out of work,
He’s a total berk,
Cheerio to the man with the silly red tie.
#TrumpBanned