Rick Aaron

The heat is comin' down and I'm not laughin'

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

My television roles include “Fleeing Suspect” on Season 3 of Cops and “Jubilant Non Father” on Season 7 of the Maury Povich Show.

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

I’m from the rural South. My pronouns are Hee/Haw.

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

@nypost This gave me the heebee Bee Gees

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

Hey guys what time does the Sharia Law begin? Do I have time to wash my truck first or naw?

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

It’s already happening. All major U.S. tv networks are now displaying election results in Arabic numerals.

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

As an oil tycoon billionaire I’m disappointed by tonight’s results but as a surgeon who performs gender reassignments on elementary schoolers I’m encouraged.

[Kilgore Trout (Polka king of the Southeast) @KilgoreOfTrout]

IF YOURE IN LINE AT ARBYS RIGHT NOW STAY IN LINE DONT LEAVE THEY LEGALLY HAVE TO GIVE YOU A BEEF AND CHEDDAR PER THE CONSTITUTION KNOW YOUR RIGHTS 🇺🇸 🇺🇸

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

Election returns? Yes unfortunately it does every two years.

[bryan @lungbuttr]

using the “i voted” stickers to cover my nipples

[Jennifer Killa Dilla @HauntedJennifer]

I like to scare myself with my own driving at least once a day 🥰

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

crazy scary shit is happening all around me. guess, i’ll just go upstairs & soap up my boobies real slow in the shower.

-horror movies in the 80s

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

@bestestname Awww man - so sorry Matt

[Kristen @Kica333]

Doctor: How often do you exercise?

Me: 3 times.

Doctor: A week or a month?

Me: I have given my answer.

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

@Norveilex Relying on JAMBA instead of JAMA

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

A Nigerian prince just called with my lab results but I didn’t have any Apple gift cards.

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

BREAKING: Disappointed AI agents find nothing in my bank accounts but overdraft charges.

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

@nypost My L High Club

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

Spotted the Presidential limousine today

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

@NFL I hope they play Wednesday, Bloody Wednesday

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

Big pharma ads are like “Ask your doctor if this medication with 543 side effects & an unpronounceable name is right for you!”

[Rick Aaron @RickAaron]

@TMZ A B-list celebrity standing at baggage claim confirms the report