𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵

a tortilla chip’s worst nightmare

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

my dad wrote me a report card when I was 11

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

thinking about how scary bugs would be if they were human-sized 💔

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

this may offend some people but I have to get it off my chest. I am terrified of identical twins. they spark a terrible, primordial fear deep inside me. I know this is wrong and I am sorry :(

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

to me, @elonmusk will always just be a dude @Grimezsz dated for a while

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

if you bring your dog to a bar with loud music, you are an asshole

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

omg #excitingnews! @LinkedIn now allows you to upload your Last Will and Testament to your profile. so convenient!!!

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

I’m sorry but wtf is a wart

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

it’s sad that crows are harbingers of death cause I really love them

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

good morning to everyone except the developers who abandoned Spine World

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

finishing a good book hurts more than a breakup

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

I have to sit in my car and hype myself up for 10 minutes before entering any Home Depot

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

I’m sorry to anyone this offends but Yorkshire Terriers are repulsive

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

if you see me out in shoobies, do not say hi

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

I can’t believe I used to cry over a guy who was ambivalent about pillowcases

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

life is just waking up and taking your meds then taking your meds and going to bed

[Gators Daily 🐊 @GatorsDaily]

ITS FLAT FUCKERS FRIDAY YOU COWARDS!!!!

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

what if babies were born at 14 pounds

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

you ever lie awake at night thinking about the life cycle of plastic?

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

sorry I can’t hear you over my Tooth Tunes

[𝓡𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵 @rickles1996]

why do I feel a pang of guilt when I curse Siri out