Free_mind✍🏾

You only need the right people not numbers…

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

As I was driving home this evening, I was tuned into Naija Info FM.

They were discussing one's source of joy in marriage.

Then listeners were calling in.

Then I remembered one time, I was asking my lovely wife how she felt about me handling this page and coming here every day.

This was way before I monetized my page.

"Sweetie, I used to have a silent problem with it because I know how wicked people can be on social media. But after some time, I observed that you were getting some form of fulfillment from it.

Especially when you tell me about how you were able to do this and that for people you do not even know.

I concluded that you were happy doing it, and you still did not neglect our needs, and you are mostly at home as well.

I also stopped complaining about your going out almost every evening to relax and have some beer.

Even though I know that sometimes you go there to flirt with women, I just overlook it because you have been very careful not to bring shame or disrespect to us as your family.

You have grown and learnt a lot from your mistakes.

And you do not have most of your closest friends in the country anymore."

Those were the exact words of my lovely wife.

I sat down and thought about what she said for a while, and realized how truthful she was, and how open-minded she was towards expressing herself.

She was right.

I recall one time, I taught about the source of joy.

And I did say that men should not make their wives or children their only source of joy.

Because for women, they can hurt you deeply, and if she's your only source of joy, you may not have the courage to walk away when you should have.

For the children, they will not always be with you. A time will come when they leave the house to be on their own. They will visit at intervals, but it will no longer be an everyday affair.

I have also taken time to understand my wife's sources of joy aside from being a good wife, a good mother, and a homemaker.

She derives joy from watching movies in her free time and listening to educational and health content.

For that reason, I always make sure that there is no shortage of data in the home.

Every married person needs to have a source of joy or fulfillment.

You must find something that brings you special happiness when being married sometimes weighs you down.

When you feel that you have given your all and you just want to run away, don't give up.

When you feel that your efforts or sacrifices are not being reciprocated or appreciated, please understand that sometimes marriage can be overwhelming.

You need to find something else to do to add extra value to your life, and by extension, to society at large.

End.

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

The whole essence of love is to GIVE. The whole point of relationship is to GIVE, not to have entitlement.

It is the love you give that you deserve.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

If you marry a good wife, your life will be better with her.

If you marry a bad wife, your life will be better without her.

You can only know that you married a good wife by how she treats you and the children.

Not by how she treats the children alone.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

Most women who get married because of money, will become the providers in the long run.

If you don't sit down to analyze and research the legitimate job or career that your fiancé is doing, you'll mostly likely regret getting married to him.

Stop banking on false hopes & short term gains.

A man is supposed to be your provider in marriage.

Look at what he's doing for a living.

Don't be deceived by the little money that he's flashing on your face.

Sustainable and consistent income is better than sudden income.

Look for a legitimate hardworking young man to date and stay committed to him and hope for the best.

Make sure that the age gap is not more than 5 years.

10 years is a stretch.

Men love marriage and they need marriage as much as you do.

And most men love to marry early enough.

If you see the ones that are above 35 and still single, please do not get carried away.

Vet them very well and know what you're going into.

Even if they're rich, still vet them and ask the right questions and not allow the money to blindside you.

You're not the first woman that has dated them.

And since women love money, why do you think those ones that he dated did not get married to him.

Or you think that you have a special breed toto abi?

Your eye go clear.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

How most men vet before they marry:

1. Who is her mother?
2. Who are her friends?
3. Does she respect her father?
4. Is her mother a divorcee or single mother?
5. Can she cook & clean?
6. Is she respectful?

How most women vet men before getting married:

Is he rich?

End.

[Free_mind✍🏾 @rickmark01]

@NEDUszn8 Khedira

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

If your wife is still asking you for money to buy her sanitary pads, airtime or to make her hair, you're not a kind husband.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

To avoid this, you must always give your wife separate money from what you give her as monthly upkeep for the home.

So that you can justifiably rebuke her if she asks you for money for those basic female things.

It doesn't matter if she's working.

She's your wife.

Give your wife money, even if she's making her own money.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

It's why a woman, after knowing that another woman had divorced her husband because of extreme domestic violence, would still go ahead to get married to the divorced man.

And a man, after knowing that a man had divorced his wife because she was unfaithful, won't marry the divorced woman.

For women, it's all about their feelings. They take the lessons before weighing the risks.

For men, it's all about their minds and other people's experiences. They weigh the risks before taking the lessons.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

When you're angry with your wife, and you raise your voice at her, what is she most likely to do?

She would grab any of your children and starts to shed tears or acting up.

Then your children will start to see you as a wicked daddy.

That's how it starts.

But I believe this is nature playing out in marriage.

Just because you don't want to be seen as a "wicked" father or husband, doesn't mean that you should not act when it's appropriate to do so.

You're the head of the home.

And for women, it should always be a "carrot and stick" approach.

Otherwise, anything you allow, will become the norm.

So there you have it.

Until you're mature, your mother will forever be a saint.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Gen Z remains the most unfortunate generation.

The Gen Alphas and Betas may do better than them.

Because they would see the destruction that the Gen Zs brought upon themselves.

And social media would be better regulated to protect them from impending destruction.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

Imagine if he had invested that N300k plus other monies he had been giving to her at just 24. By the time he gets to 30, with careful financial planning and discipline, he would be prepared to be a husband and father.

Let me repeat:

Your girlfriend is supposed to invest in you and make sacrifices for you, while you invest and sacrifice for the future of both of you.

But lack of patience and foresight and the love for toto is taking a huge toll on you young men.

And greed has taken a toll on you young girls.

A young man who is just starting life deserves to be in a relationship. It's how he would find his future wife and the mother of his future children.

It's not a period for him to waste scarce resources.

It's a period of vetting, cohabiting, helping each other, and living a prudent or frugal life..

Then he starts to build his life brick by brick while you, the girlfriend, support him, while he also leads you towards the right path and in line with your future goals and aspirations.

Stop all these transactional relationships you people are doing..

They're unhealthy, and they create unnecessary entitlement, lack of focus and misplaced priorities.

You should have sex if you want.

But sex should not be sold in your relationship.

He would always spend on you, but it should not be seen as a compensation for sex.

How will he spend on you?

1. When you go on dates.

2. When you cohabit with him from time to time.

3. When he wants to get you gifts.

4. Then occasionally dash you money.

Not him paying for your rent.

Not him buying expensive phones, hairs, shoes, bags etc.

Not him paying for your school fees.

And certainly not him buying you sanitary pads or feeding your family.

And all his earnings must be legitimate.

This is what young people in relationships should practice.

Contentment, discipline, and reasonable financial planning and future ambitions.

By the time you keep at it, you'd be building a healthy relationship and setting the proper foundations for your future, and possibly, marriage.

You would have earned your place, and be proud of yourselves.

Make no mistakes; you will definitely make mistakes.

You'll fight, quarrel, and even curse at each other.

It doesn't have to lead to breakups.

As long as no red lines are crossed.

Use each fight, quarrel, or misunderstanding as a teaching moment.

Where you have to apologize, do so.

Where you have to be accountable, do so.

Where you have to be transparent, do so.

This is my gospel for you all, this beautiful wet morning.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

Women,

Always remember.

You'll most likely settle in faster as a married woman than your husband.

Especially if he married you before he was 30 and almost all his close friends are still bachelors.

In the early stages of your marriage, you'll feel like you made a mistake.

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[Free_mind✍🏾 @rickmark01]

@Wizarab10 A better job… 🙏🏾

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

But then, I think every married man should take a clue from it.

When you wife says that you're owing her, do not start shouting or cussing her out.

You may wish to audit what she says you're owing her, but she is not really expecting you to pay all if you cannot do it.

Acknowledge it, and pay what you can pay out of it.

It'll make your wife happy.

There are many things that your wife does without necessarily disturbing you for them.

This is why you should always give your wife money for nothing sometimes.

And if she's a housewife, pay her monthly stipends.

For those of you that are married to good wives, you'd notice that whenever you give her money to spoil herself or purchase something for herself, she may use more of that money to buy things for the kids or the house.

Never leave your wife's account or pocket empty.

Be conscious of it.

You may be too busy to notice what she does, and handles in your absence.

That's why she's your wife.

I don't regret marrying my wife, even if I may grumble because I am human.

But if you honestly assess why she says you're owing her, you'd see that the debt you're paying isn't mostly because she used the money on herself.

But for you and the kids that you both have.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

Once two mature adults say to themselves that "we want this relationship to work", it's done.

You the woman must cut off all distractions and focus on your man, show him respect & be feminine.

You the man must keep to your words, & walk the talk. You must show financial readiness & other signs that you want to be a married man.

If you want to cheat, you are better off cheating with prostitutes and pay them off.

Stop cheating with normal women who are also looking for husbands, because they can ruin the beautiful relationship you're building with your girlfriend.

And it can make your serious girlfriend start to lose trust in you, and it can make her to start considering other options, thereby cheating on you too.

Everyday, you come to this community to read posts and comments from different single women.

I sometimes intentionally put these women in the spotlight so that they can be noticed by serious men.

I flirt with them, post their pictures, and give you hints of what you men should be looking out for.

But for some of you, you're cruising.

I am married ooo.

Those ladies are single & want to be married too.

Look at yourself very well as a man.

Are you in your late 20s and in your 30s?

Are you working legitimately?

Do you live alone?

Can you feed yourself, a woman and at least one child?

Then if you check these boxes, you're a potential bachelor.

You'll never run out of totos to fuck.

Stop fucking around and make one lady your serious girlfriend and marry first.

You'll still meet plenty totos ahead.

I have provided several opportunities for both men and women to connect with each other through my platforms.

But lack of seriousness is your undoing.

You people are getting older everyday.

Time waits for no one.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

Infact, let me say this.

If you know that your brother is married to a good wife from a good family, and you're still searching for a wife.

Please go into your inlaws' family to choose a wife from there.

Your brother has already done the good job for you.

End.

[The law📖🤚🏿 @_spicychoco_]

Women want money from broke men and want love from rich men😂

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

A man marries a woman.

A woman gets married to a man.

In African weddings, once the man fulfills all obligations or rites that has been requested by the bride's family (including bride price), then he has sponsored his wedding.

The bride or her family can decide to spend lavishly, to make it a glamorous wedding.

That's their choice.

But a man is to foot the traditional and legal requirements of marrying his wife.

Then he can entertain their guests according to his capacity.

Every other things are 'jara'.

The man has married his wife.

So if you meet a man who cannot fulfill these obligations or rites, then I don't know what you're getting married to.

End.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

Dear young women that do not mind getting married to yahoo boys.

Let me tell you something.

Please be prepared to stay in that marriage with your kids, when your husband starts to suffer from the consequences of his misdeeds.

Enjoy now, but you shall suffer later.

End.