WeHo Rye

I have long since forgotten what day it is.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

How do I tweet?

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Screw your courage to the sticking place.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Is it raining where you are?

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Happy birthday

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Morning. Because if it was a good morning the Bills would have rightfully won that game.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Bob’s Burgers is the lifeblood of my humor.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Had to poop while at the gym. Figured I could hold it. Was doing heavy squat. Could not hold it.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

When Spotify plays Duel of the Fates when you’re on bench so you genuinely think you can rep your homies Mac but he lifts three times your body weight.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

I once again forgot my gym shoes have huge holes in the bottoms. My feet are soaked.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Only realized there was another person in the dark ass sauna because he got up and left.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

You know what they say, I’d rather be fartin loud than shittin wet.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Lately I’ve been using both feet for the pedals while I’m driving. I’m practically Max Verstappen.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YOUR SKIN BUGS IN YO

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

I’m thinking of starting a petition to change our national anthem to Free Bird.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

I do PG-13 things to jars of mayonnaise.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Out of prison now. Time to lock the fuck in.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

People ask why I do hip adductions on leg day. It’s so I can leg lock my wife and force her to get me pregnant.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

The amount of times I’ve bit the same fucking spot on my lower left lip is fucking insane. I hate it here.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

I’m 25 and stuck in the desert but I had an uncrustable for breakfast, it’s less than 100° outside for the first time, and I should be leaving soon. Maybe life is worth living.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

Listening to Breaking Benjamin in the gym got me feeling like I need to kill the Prophet of Regret.

[WeHo Rye @ridikkulus]

To this day the best cake I’ve had was a chocolate cake with a spoon and lots of broken glass baked into it. Had two pieces.