Russell Wilson-Smith

Software Developer

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Jeremy Clarkson opened a pub in August 2024 with one rule: every single ingredient British. Here is what that rule immediately deleted from a perfectly ordinary pub.

- No coffee.
- No Coca-Cola.
- No gin and tonic. Quinine will not grow here.
- No lemons. No limes.
- No ketchup, for two years.
- No avocado. No pineapple.

His own line was that instead of a slice of lemon you would be offered a slice of turnip.

That list is not a gimmick. It is an audit of how much of a normal British menu now arrives by ship, and the answer turns out to be most of the small things nobody thinks about.

Then the figure underneath it all. A sausage made from his own pigs costs 74p. The same sausage made from imported pig meat costs 18p. He is absorbing that gap on every plate that leaves the kitchen, which is precisely the gap every British pig farmer is asked to compete across, without a television programme paying the difference.

And the ketchup has the best ending in the whole story. So many people asked for it that a sign went up telling them to stop. Then a producer in Chatham built one out of Isle of Wight passata, Hampshire cider vinegar and Essex salt, and it went on the menu.

The demand was always sat there. Nobody had bothered building the supply.

[ClarksonsFarm @ClarksonsFarm1]

Insert smug face here.😁

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

Two hundred of the thousand acres at Diddly Squat grew nothing at all this year. That was a decision taken in advance, on a spreadsheet. Wheat or barley on that ground was a guaranteed loss before the drill left the shed, so Jeremy Clarkson left it bare and explained why in his Sun column this week.

One line from it went everywhere. Farmers have reached the point where it is quite simply impossible to make money from growing food. Every paper carried that sentence, and every paper stopped there.

The list underneath it did not get printed anywhere.

Because he went on to set out what two hundred acres of good English ground could do instead of feeding anyone, and there were four items on it.

- Rent it to a global agri-company growing crops for anaerobic digesters.
- Cover it in solar panels.
- Put a data centre on it.
- Sell the farm to a Chinese company for a multistorey high-intensity piggery.

Every one of those pays. The only use of that land which reliably loses money is the one that puts food on a British plate. He added that he was not being ridiculous, and that anybody in 1926 would have laughed you out of the room for suggesting the factories would be gone by 2026.

Now the bit with a date on it.

From 1 January 2027 the UK's carbon border tax applies to imported fertiliser. The Treasury's own costings put the take at £140 million in 2027-28, rising to £180 million the year after. Estimates of the hit run from around £33 a tonne to £75, which is a fifth to a quarter added to the largest input bill an arable farm carries. The Central Association of Agricultural Valuers has warned that a typical 500 acre cereals farm could be down as much as £70,000 once fertiliser and fuel costs land.

So the fertiliser that grows the wheat gets taxed on a known date, in writing, by a government that says out loud it wants food security.

Nobody in Whitehall has ever signed a policy to stop Britain growing food. They have signed a great many that make every alternative pay better, which arrives at the same field.

And understand whose field this is. Diddly Squat has a television crew, a farm shop with a queue down the lane, a pub, a lager brand, a bestselling book every autumn and one of the best land agents in the country. It is the most commercially advantaged thousand acres in Britain, and two hundred of them were left bare this year because putting seed in them was the losing move.

Every arable farmer in England is doing that same sum this autumn. Almost none of them have a production company to cover the difference.

Those two hundred acres have not gone out of production. They are waiting to hear which industry wants them more than you do.

[ClarksonsFarm @ClarksonsFarm1]

Nothing but goats in this picture 😎

[Cosmic Perspective @considercosmos]

Our first NFT bid! So grateful to the collectors helping us to share and archive space exploration

Made on Earth by Humans
https://t.co/ZG901ZOlj3

@withFND @elonmusk #nftcollectors #NFTart

[Russell Wilson-Smith @righteousvegans]

@DellCares dell latitude 11 months old, Jul 15 HD fail. Apr MB fail Fixed Apr 12, Fail Apr 17. Want new unit. No confidence
ref 04318056240

[The Gorgeous Chans @gorgeouschans]

On Friday we're at @Surya_London for another headline show! There are still some tickets on sale x

[James Blunt @JamesBlunt]

To help people at the bottom of the tree join those near the top, give them a ladder, not a bow and arrow. @ChrisBryantMP

[The Gorgeous Chans @gorgeouschans]

So happy to be @BBCintroEMids @beatonthebeeb's 14th most played local artist of 2014! Here's to 2015 being even better #bigthingscoming

[The Gorgeous Chans @gorgeouschans]

Can't believe @JustOlli has played his last gigs with us :( But its not all bad - big news coming! X

[The Gorgeous Chans @gorgeouschans]

Here's the video of us playing our track Marina & I, at this years @Bestival festival on the @bbcintroducing stage, http://t.co/uz4HsPofhT

[The Gorgeous Chans @gorgeouschans]

Our track By The Highway is available to download free on @SoundCloud ! http://t.co/AXWRb9pwjx … Go get it! :D

[TommyGirling @TommyGirling]

@gorgeouschans so much love for you all! ❤️

[The Gorgeous Chans @gorgeouschans]

Just saw @AlannaghMai at @bodeganotts downstairs!! Lovely set - now listening to @jiallohq #jazz! Ready for @Nottm_Contemp at 7! #HH #notts

[Steve McGill @McGillMusic]

@Berrymouse2 @Nottm_Contemp @gorgeouschans @HockleyHustle is it packed @BBCintroEMids ??? So wish I could have been around today