jess

later, sluts

[Bebos Shenanigans @yearnerduck]

flying cars but not a single functional strapless bra

[miguel @miguelsonline]

temporadas 1 e 2 de glee = obras primas
3 = divertida
4 = atentado ao pudor
5 e 6 = vilipendio de cadáver

[𝒥𝑒𝓈𝓈 @worldreads]

terrible time to have a history degree & pattern recognition skills

[victoria ♀️ @fatfabfeminist]

yk sometimes these little aesthetic quotes really do the trick

[ᴾᴬᵁᴸᴰᴼᶜᴷ ˣ @PaulDock93]

Sorry but making AI cartoons of yourself makes me think you’re a simpleton, you eat custard for dinner with a big wooden spoon, you put the bumpers on when you go bowling, your dream holiday is Dubai x

[Lukas Battle @lukasbattle]

April Fools Day used to be a day to celebrate tom foolery and schemes but in todays society I am not in the headspace to be bamboozled….a whoopee cushion on my chair would literally make me kill myself

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

Seasonal depression “isn’t real” until you get a warm day in February and realize you’ve been dead inside for months

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

throughout the darkest times in history people were still falling in love and hanging out with their friends. saying that now for no particular reason

[girlboss don biggavelli @rwxoxo]

dark at 5pm on a night with no plans: every passing minute is a reminder of endless nothingness, existence is a prison

dark at 5pm & on the way to an evening plan: look how the city lights dance for me, who knows what wonders await, the night is young!

[Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman]

my friends: we are having babies, also we just got engaged, also we’ve just bought a house

me: a man with a history of not texting me back has liked an Instagram story, do we think this means something

[jess @riley_jessx]

The Prime Minister: Tony Blair to have his "Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter" rescinded - Sign the Petition https://t.co/W72W1kagOA via @UKChange

[jess @riley_jessx]

@Joshconnelly00 @LackenbyAj what a fanny ahahaha

[James Parker @panoparker]

Today I learned that aggressive baby goats have to wear horn noodles to avoid hurting each other

[laura @lxuradxvies]

when the class war happens and i have to kill giles from gogglebox

[lena @k3pzona]

me in public: my headphones:

[Eleanor🦋✨ @eleanxrsmith]

a thread of all the petitions that you need to sign (a UK thread):

[Jack Edwards @jackbenedwards]

if today hasn’t been your day then I’m about to turn it around with this thread of puppies

[kim @KimmyMonte]

this dog literally failed every single test thrown at him to become a service dog and i am scream laughing. but imho he’s still a very very good boy.