Tweety Bird

I just want to make a lot of money. Don't believe everything you read 🤓

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

Kinda Wish I could keep that suit for grad day

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

If 20% of the tip is less than $1.50 do you tip?

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

All these terrible government answers got me 3 hours deep in old Obama speechs

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

They doing white house bits on the boys, this is great homelander always on bs

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

Just seen a Hispanic man say the dems are making things harder for his family in an ad on Disney plus. I'm still laughing

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

People weird about dress codes

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

If I'm the highest seat of power in Canada, I'm not wearing a hat that says that. Yall should know, if not okay then I still have my job

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

Nobody tells you how strong a baby is when they are not on the same page as you

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

Im always impressed when a car starts in negative temperatures. Damn even i don't want you to leave the drive way. Let me call in!

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

Tax and Jobs have been around for a while. Minimum wage is still low, and the minimum price for a nicotine product is a $30 minimum 😒

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

I now gotta tell people I come with kids and I still forget to... damn

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

When I overthink the way jello feels, I can't do it. Taste great, but the jiggle all the way down is too much...

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

I'm convinced if you're a lifetime politician with a family you're 1,000% not doing your job on one. It's not possible. Few years in the job sure, lifetime?.... no

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

@tonystatovci Robin would be the last one. He would beat the breaks off of someone as throughly as batman

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

Part of me feels every father doesn't say it, but they enjoy watching boobs grow during pregnancy

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

Why they always trying to put ears on on baby clothes? I have a child not an animal wtf

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

I'm looking at baby jackets online because it's getting cold, I got fed up 5 seconds in because 80% have ears. It's a baby not a pet wtf

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

This first day back to work after paternity leave is weird in so many ways

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

I love watching people's reactions to crazy statements and people in court.

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

The judge on the people's court is a milf. She gets all these wild people and nobody hits on her? This can't be right, I'm missing a clip or sum

[Tweety Bird @ring_master2016]

Pulling up to a drive thru and you gotta be the first one to say sum is crazy annoying