Girldick Van Dyke

not real doctor. real worm.

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

he escaped

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

Silly couples prank idea: get your boyfriend a prescription for estradiol but put a fake label on it that says Gamer Pills

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

hey can someone remind me how long you're supposed to boil a hot pocket for

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

@almostsocial I stole several codes as a kid to keep my account active

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

Why does tattoo removal exist? If you change your mind, just go back and add Calvin peeing on the original.

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

If Kirby ate a cop, would he become a bastard until he eats someone else? Or would the act of eating the cop negate his gaining of the power of bastardry?

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

Life hack: if you want to make sure a public pool doesn't have any pee, just poop in it so they have to replace the water

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

Fun geography fact: did you know there are more people living in the Oklahoma panhandle than in all of the world's oceans combined?

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

@addictabasement My favorite part is that the only player on their team who ever died was killed twice and then fuckin fell off the map

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

If you don't want me going exactly the speed limit in front of you, don't buy a car that cops currently use.

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

How come male geese aren't called goosters

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

@prolepossum You forgot Mystery Flavor ™️ !

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

oh you like hot dogs? name every ingredient

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

Is it normal to type a word in a message and realize you aren't certain you're using it right and then send the message anyway and frantically look up the definition and hope you can edit it in time before the other person reads what you wrote if it's wrong

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

Oh you're a car guy? Well I've *seen* more cars than you've even *owned*

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

@possumkratom69 When they said go back to work, that meant fucking strike

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

Thought experiment: imagine a baking soda and vinegar volcano.

Damn that was fuckin cool!

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

@SeanSheffield5 @ericofthehouseE @nocontextmemes It's like a shitty old car. You have to keep trying to start it until it fires up for more than 2 seconds, and you're golden

[Girldick Van Dyke @riotsqrrrl]

Crackin' open a hot one with the boys