Rishabh Dua

Engineering Manager @Meta | ex @Flipkart

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@SamsungUK @SamsungUK_CS Got a broken TV delivered on Jun 22nd, raised complaint from your customer support but have not got any update from the team on when replacement is coming & internal team have not even approved it yet. What kind of support is this?

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@secretlabchairs if you want to be seen as a premium product company, why do you choose for cheapest most unreliable delivery partner in UK?
XDP has the order for 2 weeks now with no updates and your support also is unable to help. Is cancellation the only option now?

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@ZipcarUK Your experience on the website is really bad. I am unable to finish my application as the Application form never opens.
All your support says in 3 emails - use different browsers/incognito etc. I have done that! Fix your website. @Zipcar

https://t.co/NU0KbrE1XH

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@shrinath_m2 Some universities do have subjects for soft skills - personality development, behavioural science but they are not effective as they are literature and not actual trainings. Soft skill isn't something you can just read about.

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@MyntraSupport there is some issue with your myntra Insider flow. The egv recieved was already used and no resolution from your support team.

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@instagram how to disable REELS!! the one reason I never used tiktok and now I have to stop using insta as well?

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

I have a software engineering joke, but the sprint has not started yet 😎

[Vijay Shekhar Sharma @vijayshekhar]

I have a roller coaster joke, it is right now under a lockdown. 😬

[Tech At Flipkart @flipkart_tech]

Flipkart Data Platform — India’s largest eCommerce Big Data Platform #TechBlog #Blog
#Hadoop #BigData https://t.co/QMydY3dZl3

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@jasonfried How do you handle reply to all in a bundled email, since they are different threads?

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

Wanted to cover the scope of a UI developer and how it transitioned from full stack.

https://t.co/T2Hb4YcQi8

#uidevelopment #reactjs #nodejs #fullstack #javascription #medium

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@zerodha feature request: show warning in buy window itself that you are not allowing to place orders for that Strike Price in CE/PE.
After placing the order we get an error "outside the allowed range"

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@ooomz @chriswade__ V7

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@ooomz Congrats @ooomz

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@spotifyindia when can we expect full albums of @coldplay
?

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

@HotstarPremium @hotstar_helps @hotstartweets Same issue ! tried different browsers, cache clearing, refresh etc etc .. Really bad reliability!

[sivakumar @shivshivku]

@HotstarPremium @hotstar_helps @hotstartweets Tell me why should I pay to get this screen...? Worst of all. How many times I have been refreshing. Restarted the browser also. Poor service. Poor portal.

[Tech At Flipkart @flipkart_tech]

fStream: Comparing Stream Processing Engines by Arya Ketan @Flipkart https://t.co/tKIQanhm1B #India #Flipkart #OpenSource #Streaming #Hadoop

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

“Overview of Flipkart Data Platform” by @rishabhdua4 https://t.co/vMOyWTYWjV #BigData #Data #DataScience @Flipkart

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

Joining MR to Cascade Joins #Hadoop #tech #bigdata @Flipkart @flipkart_tech https://t.co/Srpv4HtlJj

[Rishabh Dua @rishabhdua4]

Flipkart Pay Later - Product development blog post @flipkart_tech @Flipkart https://t.co/jFrc3jN6cl #tech #product #development #blog