Rishi Budhrani

Singaporean Comedian, host, actor, educator; Host of travel series with Singapore Airlines and Singapore Tourism Board #UnexpectedJourneys

[Steven Bones @StevenBonesVA]

Look! I'm in another game! This time i voice Philip Ng, Lucas, Detective Bhat, and more! castmates include the amazing @SuChanVA @AzmanZulkiplyVA @AimeeSmithVA @Omahdon @rishibudhrani and many more! And we all got to use our own accents! woohoo!

#indiegame #gaming #indiedev

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

There’s one thing that even Covid-19 couldn’t change;
The courteousness of Singaporean road users is still inversely proportional to the distance from the city centre. People start driving like real assholes once they enter Orchard.

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

War is always a real-time
history lesson
at the cost of human life.
Hopefully, this time,
it’s a lesson we remember,
and a lesson we learn.
#UkraineWar

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

Therapist; One of the things I will be doing is to note down when your use of humour may be unhelpful.

Me: You got enough paper there, doc?Cos trust me, there are going to be many such moments.

Therapist:…

Me: And that was one of ‘em, wasn’t it?

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

True love is being able to kiss the forehead of the woman you love when she’s feeling sick, while pretending not to taste the
Vick’s Vaporub she just applied.

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

What Mathematics problem sums in 2021 textbooks will look like.

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

What Indian mums are trying to say to you while they’re praying;
-increase in VOLUME of chanting=
she’s trying to get your attention.
-increase in SPEED of chanting=
she wants you to get something for her.
-increase in VOL & SPEED=
you’ve screwed sth up royally GTFO from there.

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

Father: So, beta. Did you give a good exam and come?
—————
Yep. The whole world takes exams, but not brown students.

We are extremely generous.

According to our parents, we give exams.

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

Key news networks with at least one case of failed fact-checking in the last 24hrs;
1. @CNN *not a news network*
#CNN #Singapore

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

@realDonaldTrump said,
“Don’t be afraid of (Covid-19.)”

Right now, the world is more afraid of the fact that he might become #POTUS again.

#WhiteHouseVirus #Trump

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

Formula for Karate Kid movies;

1. Make children do your housework.
2. Try to hammer them.
3. Eventually, they will learn that the only way to prevent getting whacked is to do housework.

Karate Kid and Cobra Kai were written by Indian parents.

#StrikeFirstStrikeHardNoMercy

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

Desi aunties visiting each other’s houses is a neverending cycle of;
———————
Host: Will you have tea?

Guest: Are you making tea?

Host: If you’re having, I’ll make.

Guest: If you’re making, I’ll have.
————————-
...until the world ends or all the chai finishes.

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

What if #COVID19 is just the meanest #AprilFoolsJoke of all time? I accept it. Good one. You got me. Let’s end it now. Please. #Corona #CoronavirusLockdown

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

Looking for new and exciting recipes for grass. Pls share.

#EatGrass #COVID19 #CoronavirusLockdown #Singapore

https://t.co/INgQPekWfY

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

Had my doubts, but after they went through with that concert this week, it seems like the @stereophonics truly are time deaf.

#stereophonics #COVID2019 #coronavirus #stayhomechallenge #COVID19 #CoronavirusOutbreak

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

“SG is handling this so well.”
“SG is a model for how to handle a pandemic. “

Malaysia to be on lock down for 2 weeks!

Panic buying round 2 in SG.

#Malaysialockdown #panicbuying #Singapore #coronavirus #Malaysia

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

Brilliant.

[Gillian Turner @GillianHTurner]

BREAKING: The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

When shit truly hits the fan, no amount of #toiletpaper can save you.

#coronavirusaus #COVID2019 #COVID19 #ToiletPaperPanic #CoronavirusOutbreak #coronavirus #panicbuying #toiletpapercrisis #TheRishiReport

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

NUS student-voyerpreneur.
Again.
Singapore has the best respsonse to world crisis.
Protecting citizens from viruses. Unfortunately, we can’t protect ourselves from each other.

https://t.co/sFtHyz6flV

[Rishi Budhrani @rishibudhrani]

The world is suffering from a potential pandemic but Singapore got murtabak wars going on.

https://t.co/6qLXiSHpfq

#COVIDー19 #Singapore #FoodWars