Carissa McClintock

Bitch, real G's move in silence like lasagna

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

My version of self care is reminding myself that I don't have to shave my legs if I don't feel like it.

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I dropped Nugget off with a friend tonight so I could leave to go to PA for a wedding tomorrow and now I can't sleep in my own damn bed without that fluffball. I know he's fine but I miss his furry little face.

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I woke up with "Telly" from Matilda playing on loop in my head this morning. I can't decide if this is a good or a bad omen. Happy Friday!

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

You know, if Dani hadn't been such a whiny little bitch and thrown her tantrum, Max would've stayed home on Halloween and he never would've lit that candle. So, really, it's all her fault.

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

Shout out to the hot soccer coach that boosted my ego a little bit today.

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I came to sit in my car on my lunch break and I leaned the seat back into the sunshine and now I don't wanna move. #sendhelp

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I can't tell if my stomach is eating itself from the inside out because of an actual illness or because my reproductive system is out to get me. #ladystruggles

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I slept for a million hours yesterday and now I'm not tired at all. I have to go back to work in the morning. Pray for me. 😩

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

Getting to watch @jmhaleyeah marry the coolest girl ever with the most epically perfect reception afterward was exactly the mood boost I needed. #HaleYeah #hadmeathaleo

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I got to take Nug for an hour long walk today and it felt so good to be out in the sunshine. ☀️

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

As an Early Childhood educator, I can 100% confirm that this is true. 😂 #wearetired

[devon sawa @DevonESawa]

Spring break ain’t for the kids. It’s for their teachers.

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I had a dream that I was dating @JoshKillacky. Imagine my disappointment when I woke up to find that it wasn't real. My alarm went off way too soon this morning.

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

But how do the "Stab" filmmakers know what happened while Casey Becker talked to Ghostface on the phone? Everyone involved in that conversation is dead. #plothole

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I've been really in my feelings lately and I feel like no matter what I do, I'm not doing it right.

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

Ok I had to do it. I had to watch #Cats and let me tell you, it is every bit the terrifying fever dream that I anticipated.

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

@DevonESawa 🙋🏼‍♀️

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

Ok fellas, if a woman has ignored all of your attempts to contact her for THREE YEARS, then you need to take the fucking hint and LEAVE HER ALONE!! 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄😒

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

@palan57 Seriously! It's only 35 miles. Suck it up!

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I have the most intense craving for a Sheetz cheese dog right now. But the question is, do I want it enough to drive an hour to get it? 😂

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

@palan57 I'm almost embarrassed to say that I actually looked into if I could get it delivered. It's too far, they won't do it. 😂😂

[Carissa McClintock @rissa_333_]

I walked out of my apartment this morning and there was a Chick fil A order sitting outside my door that was not mine. I think that's the first time ever that I've mistakenly gotten someone else's food instead of having mine delivered to the wrong place.