Ritt’s Cracker

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

I don’t know Jimmmmmm (beam)

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Aaaaaaaaand LeBron just tied Jordan in rings

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Sometimes I be wiping longer than I shidded for. #tuesday

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

My gluttony does not allow my uncrustables to thaw

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Had a nightmare that I was at first tee box and didn’t have my clubs. Is this the adult version of showing up to school naked?

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

The trolley problem becomes very easy if Jordan Walker is on one of the tracks. I love you Jordan Walker.

[Jeff Passan @JeffPassan]

Jordan Walker homered on his final six swings to win the 2026 Home Run Derby, a tremendous come-from-behind win that saw him beat hometown favorite Kyle Schwarber in front of a raucous Citizens Bank Park crowd. The format worked. The drama was tremendous. A very good Derby.

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

That fight made me want to kill myself too, Lindsey

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

What is the argument for watching UFC over street fights on Instagram reels? More polymarket ads?

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Vince Vaughn looking over at whatever in God’s name Mike Tyson and Tucker Carlson are talking about

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Huge night for guys who drink monster and fantasize about killing their daughter’s boyfriend

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Finished after three pumps and she kicked me out. #HingleMcCringleberry

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Flight home got deplaned and delayed 4 hours, but at least the group of Mormon missionaries next to me also had their plans ruined

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

In my house, JJ Wetherholt is an all-star.

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

We are all Flo Balogun ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

US lead 1-0 on a goal from “The Constitution”

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

SGA better request a trade because he’s not seeing the floor for a team with Bennett Stirtz

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Larry David on an aesthetic bench stealing the “vertical drop, horizontal tug” golf lesson

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Ivan Herrera if this nonsense doesn’t stop

[Ritt’s Cracker @rittscracker]

Flossing my teeth super hard the next few days before my teeth cleaning so my dentist and his harem think I’ve been a good boy.