when i was 11 i was in agony and started tearing my body apart, but it didn't occur to me that the problem was "i need to be a girl instead of a boy" as opposed to equally plausible alternatives like "i need to achieve dissolution of the flesh" or "i'm not actually real"
oh you won't get it, I feel so unbelievably happy in this specific narrow window of weather. The smell of the ozone, the sound of leaves rustling, the cool wind, the clouds moving, the rumblings distant thunderclaps, nothing makes me feel so at peace with myself.