riverly

[𝕯𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖔 𝕭𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖘 @EmmaTolkin]

Fucked up that the SECOND I finished reading this I knew every line would become a permanent fixture of my vocabulary.

[Gender: Colleen🔜ANYC @colleensmanga]

has anyone pointed out that the context around clips like this from Kodocha are that Sana is coping with her mother writing a memoir revealing that she's actually adopted and she has to deal with paparazzi trying to talk to her anytime she leaves the house?

[יונה🌸🕊️🔆Yona @yonationalist]

sometimes people tell me "wow thanks for showing me there are good israelis too" and I'm like "no don't get the wrong idea there's 15 of us"

[𝐊 ✰ @itssthyherinme]

Tf he thought ?? 😂😂😂 Ngga bye!

[Goddess 🎀 @prn63ss]

went to subway and the lady who hired me (at 17) was the one who took my order and i haven’t seen this lady in like 8 years so i’m like “omg do you remember me i worked here” and she goes “i’m sorry honey u guys come and go i don’t remember anymore” oh-

[coco ᥫ᭡ @Cocobby02]

Apply for jobs, apply for scholarships, apply to further your studies. Go to the interviews, complete the assessments, do it for the plot. Opportunities favor those in motion.

[henry @henry5839201746]

i'll do something about israel

[notJates @JustNotATES]

Grown ass man Tweeting like he on Victorious and this https://t.co/waYl3TbUe8

[all the best, arianna @virtualjew]

hit em where it hurts

[noel @noeltheowl]

i told my boyfriend he’s my best friend and he got a boner

[𝔐𝔞𝔡𝔰 @sadgirlinbloom]

“mommy all done working”— the last thing I hear before my son unplugs the wifi router and kicks me off my work call

[The Frustrating Individual @MILFmassacre]

I’m so jealous of women because if you have bigger boobs than your friends everybody knows it. I could have a bigger dick than all my male friends and I wouldn’t know it. They won’t let me know it!

[aoife🇵🇸☭ @aoifur]

lust in art form to me

[Luvorboy @iamtamjeed]

The Odyssey was like if a bunch of celebrities got together and did a play

[esoteric fat boy @xezirsalad]

one time i sat on one of these at the bar and my balls popped through the hole (with my shorts still on mind you) & i didnt realize so when i got up to pee i screamed & fell & the chair fell with me so i just ubered home then woke up to a bunch of messages like "are ur balls ok"

[Flash Gordon @FlashGordon2433]

Worst chair in the game

[Sudaca Indestructible @UnstableSudaca]

You can't tell me Jews are not uniquely gifted for comedy when you see an Israeli court blocking the proposal of feeding Palestinians to crocodiles under the argument that the crocodiles might get sick

[Toady @ToadyFNaF1987]

Stu and pid