Riya 🍄

[Fede Rodríguez @federodr]

—¿Esa rubia cuántos años tiene?
—25.
—Uh, justito. ¿Cómo se llama?
—Erling Haaland.

[Nic🇧🇷 @nicclles]

When people say chai tea

[Hero in NYC 7/24-8/1 @1thousandfaces_]

We didn't lose an hour. We gave it. To women.

[Turner Novak 🍌🧢 @TurnerNovak]

People hate daylight savings because you lose an hour. I see it as one hour closer to reporting Q1 results for the shareholders.

[Eli Manning @EliManning]

Statistically, I’m bringing down the average win percentage of this panel.

[opta gayce @tennisywilliams]

at times like these zverev must feel that the world is against him, I just want him to know that we all are

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Calling in police enforcement on nonviolent demonstrations of young students on campus is an escalatory, reckless, and dangerous act.

It represents a heinous failure of leadership that puts people’s lives at risk. I condemn it in the strongest possible terms.

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

Zara employees at the checkout work with the tiniest ounce of urgency. Someone could be holding a gun to their head and they’d stay gossiping n giggling about the mediocre dick from last night

[Atlanta Montague @atlantax_xo]

Molly everytime the girls walk in the Villa #LoveIsland

[indie @INDIEWASHERE]

trying not to vape when i’m drunk https://t.co/v9Yl48irAH

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

Went to get my eyebrows threaded today, a simple task. Lady asks me “upper lip too?” to which I politely decline. Then she goes “what about keratin? Eyelash extensions? Facial?” I’ve hit rock bottom, never showing my face again

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

After 3 days in London, I am returning to Spain with enough chocolate to poison an entire amish puppy mill

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

Flying with crying babies on planes is a form of birth control I think

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

I swear Ryanair has a lottery where they pick random passengers to role play the flight attendants and pilots bc this cannot be real

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

I’m on a packed train right pressed up against the door. And all of a sudden this German family of 9 comes barreling down the station and decides to literally launch their youngest child into the train. Maybe to start gaining sq footage or something. They are getting the side 👁️

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

Having a bunch of capitalists as friends is doing nothing for me. If you’re pre-med, pre-law, or studying film/arts/culinary sciences, hmu

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

@kunxlll The difference in saturation of the two photos 😭😭😭

[Chelsea FC @ChelseaFC]

Tomas Soucek.

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

Oh forgot to mention that I moved to SPAIN, and the email times have adjusted???

[Riya 🍄 @riyaxdesai]

Guys, I’m subscribed to a daily newsletter, and without fail, I get an email within 15 minutes of waking up, even if it’s at different times of the day. & I like to play a game where I purposefully avoid my phone right when I wake up, yet I still get the email. I’m being watched.