Ryan Marks

Noise musician. Cat dad. Scathing critic of mostly everything. He/they.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

@Daniel___Owens @viveka @kidcharles @cabluedogdem @narosenblum @nytimes I’m SO sick of The Atlantic’s op-eds.
Shut up and present some sort of IDEA or SUGGESTION or ANYTHING. This is just bitching about drug addicts for obsessively long. Also how do you justify that closing line after spewing 50+ paragraphs about how it’s awful?

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

@hyde_jeckel @BrianBengs

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

@minornightmares It’s interesting….it definitely doesn’t seem “finished” and now Ye’s saying the label dropped it without him yada yada…

Solid 3/5

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

Eric Clapton is the Steve Jobs of music.

This is the opposite of a compliment to either.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

People freak about the tomato in Return of the King, but nobody talks about how Bernie Mac absolutely fellated a whole orange in Bad Santa. I can never forget that scene.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

Me rollin up to the Church of Scientology covered in bees like, “Nah these are midichlorians”

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

Am I the only one that thinks “Well not as good NOW” when you get an email asking about your recent service/purchase?

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

Except transgender people, Native tribes, marijuana users, immigrants…JOE BOEVER.

This is so sickeningly self-unaware and I don’t know how this evil woman has support at all.

[CPAC @CPAC]

.@govkristinoem: "We do not have racism in our DNA in this country. We love each other." #CPACTX

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

Honestly if the choice is die in obscurity or have my death consistently celebrated like Reagan or Rumsfeld?

Obscurity. Obscurity over evil every time.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

@govkristinoem @JoeBiden Awwww, you poor nepotistic piece of garbage.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

@KristiNoem I hate you so goddamn much. I hope you know that for every imbecile who thinks you’re worth something, those of us with IQs high enough to sustain breathing know that you’re an evil, self-serving, whiny victim-player and can’t wait for your term to be over.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

I’m sure when I finally start practicing with a tattoo machine it’s gonna be either:

a) Wow, this is all it is??

or

b) Holy shit I don’t know how I thought I could do this.

And nothing in-between.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

*takes 4-hour afternoon nap*

“Wonderful, I never have to sleep again.”

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

@KristiNoem is a fucking racist who will exert every effort to discourage trans people and POC, the effort she FAILED to exert during a pandemic. All under the guise of some bullshit “freedom”, an empty ping word to cover up being a disgusting person.

https://t.co/Pwfk1gNdka

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

If I had one wish, it would be to instill in every human brain the knowledge that DIGIMON added “-mon” to everything and Pokémon did NOT.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

One time a friend said if scientists put me in a huge closed fishbowl and gave me a 30-ft. long cigarette that’d ruin all my oxygen and kill me if I smoked it, I’d already be trying to light it before they finished explaining this.

I have never felt so accurately attacked.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

*me trying to learn Russian*

*Russians coming up with their alphabet*

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

@TheoVon might legit be the most naturally funny person. Without fail I’m cheesing within 5 minutes of this mullet’s monologue.

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

@mtstoffel Who told him red and magenta are ok together, though

[Ryan Marks @rj_momo]

I went out of town Friday night and got back this evening, and my cats still had plenty of food and water BUT their litter box was totally full.

Someone explain this math to me.