Renae Reis

Midwesterner, Dean, coffee addict, baseball mom (x2), dog mom, neat freak.

[Wu Tang is for the Children @WUTangKids]

Buckingham Palace band playing 9 to 5 for Dolly Parton

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@Acyn Honestly, they make their money off the labor of others.

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@ChristopherHale @shannonrwatts And it could only happen now, because she’s not here to turn the honor down. I hope it happens! 💕

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

My entire social media feed is @DollyParton. After so much work, bootstrap pulling, book providing, and song singing, may she finally rest. Thank you, Dolly. 💗

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@FreddyLA7 I feel like you have to go to Michigan for the stadium alone. But others might say that about Notre Dame also.

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@LukeNicholsDS Great photos!!

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

This was awesome!

[Eric Hosmer @TheRealHoz35]

This was epic!

#royals #fountainsup

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@TheRealHoz35 This was awesome!!

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I attended a county fair and watched a child sell a pig.

The pig is worth, I am told, somewhere near four hundred dollars. I looked this up afterward because I did not believe what happened.

The girl is twelve. She walked the animal into a ring wearing a white shirt and a numbered card. She had raised it herself, from a piglet, for nine months, which I confirmed, and she had a binder of records because the program requires one.

The bidding began. Local men. A man from a bank. A man who sells tires. A woman who owns a restaurant I had eaten at the previous evening.

It did not stop at four hundred.

It stopped at three thousand two hundred.

I turned to the man beside me and asked whether the pig was of exceptional quality.

He said, "It's a fine pig."

I asked whether it was worth three thousand two hundred dollars.

He said, "No."

I asked why the price was three thousand two hundred dollars.

He said, "She's a good kid."

I stood up. I could not remain seated. I said, out loud, in a metal building that smelled of animals, that a market which knowingly and deliberately misprices a good in order to put a child through a university, and does so every year, in the open, with an auctioneer and a microphone, is not a market at all but a rite, and that I have never seen a province conduct one so cheerfully.

He said, "You want a lemonade?"

I said that I did.

Here is the part I had entirely misread. The men bidding against each other were not rivals. They were raising it together. The tire man bid, then the bank man bid, and the tire man nodded at him, and they were pushing the number upward on purpose, in public, in front of the girl. She knew. Everyone knew. The auctioneer knew. The rite requires that nobody says it.

Afterward the girl shook every buyer's hand. She writes them letters later. That is also part of it. She writes letters.

I asked the restaurant owner why she bids every year.

She said, "Somebody bought mine."

She is fifty-eight.

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@travisakers It usually lasts about 10 minutes. 😵‍💫

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@hthieblot Google Reader, all of my fave blogs in one place.

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@jazayerli My kids have known nothing else. I’m so grateful for him!

[Thomas Massie @RepThomasMassie]

Congress is not serious.

We are voting on a stock trading ban for members of Congress…

BUT Republicans added voter-ID in the legislation.

Not to get Dems to vote for voter-ID,

but to get them to vote against the stock trading ban, so they can use it in the Nov. election.

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

Christopher Nolan majored in English literature and I never want to hear another word about how humanities degrees are useless.

[S★ @xxyllinn]

I don’t want to "download the app" to pay for parking. I don’t want to "create an account" to see a menu. I don’t want to "provide feedback" on a 30-second interaction. I just want to exist in the physical world without a digital leash.

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@KingTunde_SZN 16

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@JamesHarkin 4

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@TylerJRoney It’s a word, I’ve used it.

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@jilltowers You’ve never said that?! 🤔

[Renae Reis @rld7007]

@eliash10 I’m a bing cherry girl. Watermelon, bananas, and kiwi. 😉 We froze yogurt tubes and took uncrustables, too. Cheese sticks and chomps. Kick some 🍑! ❤️⚾️