Kitterhi

I don't know, and I'm not checking...

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Imagine falling for someone and then finding out they have a belt clip for their cell phone #dealbreaker

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

My idea of a well run household is one where the kids don’t spend the day trying out witchcraft on one another and everyone pees where they’re supposed to.. 🚽🔮

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

If I never get up off the couch, does the holiday season really ever end?

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

I just scored 45 points on the word “boat” in Words with Friends, so I think it’s obvious I’ve peaked as an adult #winning

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Sorry, I’m going to have to call off from work tonight, the cat’s asleep on my lap so I can’t move....

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Realizing I have an awful lot of beauty products for someone who’s signature look is “anemic shut-in who owns one pair of sweats”

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Me to my 17y/o son: “important life lesson here, keep your hands to yourself, and don’t take out your penis unless all parties involved have agreed it’s a good time to do so”
My 17y/o son: “well, duh”
(And yet somehow grown men struggle with this idea?)

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

I just text my son to bring me a blanket on the couch so I wouldn’t have to get up, and he did it, so I guess those 18hrs of labor have finally paid off

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Imagine a world where, when you don’t want to forget something, you write it down, and then afterwards, you don’t immediately lose the piece of paper you wrote it down on... just imagine...

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Attention Victoria’s Secret: I do not want any more free tote bags with my purchase, no matter what the value. I could undoubtedly pack up the library of Congress into all the VS bags you’ve handed out. Stop the madness. #howaboutsocks

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

My ideal life scenario: every pocket I reach into has a lip balm in it...

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Sometimes i wonder if my neighbors have ever had a real conversation, or if brawling is their full time gig...

[NowThis Impact @nowthisimpact]

Ivanka Trump: Sexual harassment 'can never be tolerated.'

Sure, Jan.

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

@chelseahandler I used to say “not!” as a disqualifier when I was in middle school. But I stopped when I grew up because I thought that was adult behavior?

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

How do I explain being late for work because I was busy battling a stubborn chin hair with every pair of tweezers in my arsenal? Like that?

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Trump reminds me of Eric Cartman, except Cartman is funny...

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

Current situation: listening to our LNA explain to a patient why they can’t continue hoarding hot dogs in their bedside table

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

@Impeach_D_Trump Good. Keep it coming.

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

@rn_ginger Babies scare the hell out of me. We are lucky to have nurses like you willing to accept that challenge. Thank you! ❤️

[Kitterhi @rn_mfkrs_]

#IsupportEqualRights https://t.co/B3Mm9bJyry

[Human Rights Campaign Rapid Response @HRC]

Sharing our stories fights back against attempts to turn back the clock on #LGBTQ equality. #NationalComingOutDay https://t.co/PAc0Tn1vKK