I think this take forgets where Tony's head was at during the start of Endgame. He was completely done with the superhero life. He had Morgan, he had a peaceful cabin, and he only came back because he couldn't live with the guilt of leaving Peter behind in the dust.
If Tony lives through snapping his fingers, he isn't jumping straight into a lab to build anti-Doom armor with Hank Pym. He’s stepping down permanently, hanging up the armor, and letting the next generation take over.
Forcing him back into the lab ignores the entire emotional resolution of his character arc, he proved he was the guy to make the sacrifice play, and living through it just means he finally earns his peace.
Tony never actually forgave Steve, he just ran out of time to stay angry. The world was ending, Steve needed him for the mission, and Tony is the kind of person who compartmentalizes pain to get the job done. That's not healing, that's triage.
RDJ himself basically confirmed this when he talked about the scene being about forgiving himself for not forgiving Steve sooner, not about Steve earning it back. That's a very different emotional arc than "they made up." Tony forgave Steve because holding onto it stopped serving him, not because the wound closed.
My take on this always comes back to Steve's biggest systemic blind spot: his absolute belief that his own moral judgment overrides everyone else's right to the truth. Steve spends three movies criticizing Nick Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. for keeping secrets and managing people for "the greater good," yet he turned around and did the exact same thing to Tony.
He unilaterally decided that Tony wasn't mature or emotionally stable enough to handle the truth about Howard and Maria Stark's deaths. By robbing Tony of his right to process his own parents' murder, Steve acted with a paternalistic arrogance that completely betrayed their partnership.
Protecting Bucky's innocence didn't require deceiving Tony, Steve simply chose the comfort of a lie over an uncomfortable, necessary confrontation.
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