If you think I’m trashing MAGA (whatever that is now) I really am sorry. I know for certain there are millions of Americans who voted for Donald Trump that love this country and love their neighbors and love their families and struggle and succeed and fail just like me and you and everyone. And I don’t begrudge them their political affiliation in any way. I just abhor the hate. The meanness for the sake of being mean. No matter where it’s coming from. I’m not your enemy man. I’m really not. They’re trying to get us to fight among ourselves while they pick our pockets and piss on our legs and tell us it’s raining. I’m not doing that to you and I sure as hell know you’re not doing that to me. What could we possibly gain by hating each other as they walk off with all the food on the table. We can disagree with each other without hating each other. We just all need to break the algorithm man. It’s so much more fun finding a reason to love someone than it is finding a reason to hate them.
Things most Americans agree on:
Groceries cost too much.
Tariffs suck and make no sense.
Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.
The debt is a mess.
The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.
Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.
Americans are exhausted.
AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.
Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.
Canadians are super fucking cool.
Mexicans are chill.
Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.
Good neighbors are a blessing.
Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.
We all question, are we alone in the universe?
We all fuck up along the way.
Epstein didn’t hang himself.
The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.
The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!
Things we’re told to fight about:
Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.
That’s the joke.
I know it’s become pretty cliche and cringey to talk about at this point but if you’re under like 25 I cannot stress enough how one time Obama wore a tan suit and people spent a week arguing over whether or not it was demeaning to the Oval Office and they were serious about it.