the goblin king

student driver

[yosnier @Yosnier_]

woke up even deeper in love today...

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

At the DMV

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

It must feel good as fuck to be a cat and sit on my laptop

[Jim Teacher @oohweehuman]

RIP. greatest to ever do it

[cc @rringwraith]

kids I nannied in 2017 LOVED when I played brockhampton. they’d be like “play the funny song”

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

My mom diagnosed me with ADHD so I am speaking for the community

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

We have become too accepting of ADHD. You guys are losers

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

My high of the century was when someone told me they liked my outfit at the Roller Derby

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

I got cancelled on Cat Reddit

[helena riley @freshhel]

Oh my god thats so funny how u mentioned sydney sweeneys boobs. will u say it again later? My friends are coming over and i want them to hate you

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

I would play Pokemon and I would catch all the Pokemon all day and become the Pokemon Master

[Aella @Aella_Girl]

i think a lot of how wild i seem to be is due to being so practically independent. I don't have a boss that can fire me, an academic association that can shun me, or a romantic life where I get judged. I think if others had that safety and freedom, more of them would be wild too

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

Chicago best city in the world alert

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

(Cognitive behavioral therapy enjoyer I just cut off in traffic) Think positively. He is probably in a rush for a reason. Maybe he’s late for a job interview. Maybe his wife is giving birth

Me: I’m da king of da highway

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

Ooo weee ooo I look just like buddy holly

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

This week I keep saying “let me crunch some numbers” like I’m a stupid toy with a pull string and only have 3 recorded phrases

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

Beal Properties on March 6th your vision will go black

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

Cat threw up on my laptop and now the screen is completely black & it won’t stop playing “When I’m Sixty Four” by the Beatles

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

I respect BeReal’s commitment to never fixing their bugs and just cashing their checks until the fad runs out. I actually do

[the goblin king @roachnottheboog]

Not many can understand my dark send of humor.