It’s Friday and it’s 33 degrees. And the council estates are lively. The paddling pools have appeared from absolutely nowhere. Every front garden has one that’s 80% duct tape and 20% hope. There’s at least six kids in it, one XL bully, and someone’s uncle cooling his Stella cans in the same water. The shirtless blokes have emerged like they’re migrating for summer. White as a packet of Richmond sausages by 9am, bright red by lunchtime, still insisting, “I don’t burn, me.” The smell outside is a fascinating mix of sun cream, Lynx Africa, meat and steak pies, and someone’s wheelie bin that’s been cooking nicely in the heat since Monday. Someone’s bought a £12 fan from B&M and is acting like they’ve installed full air conditioning unit. Meanwhile someone’s nan is sat in the conservatory wearing a cardigan saying, “It’s not that warm.” The local Facebook group’s in meltdown. Half the posts are “Who’s dog is this?” The other half are people moaning about kids playing outside. “Can they not scream?” Karen, it’s the first sunny Friday we’ve had in about eight months. They’re feral now. Accept it. Meanwhile some fellas washing his Corsa with Fairy Liquid while blasting uk garage enough for three postcodes to enjoy. By tonight there’ll be at least two blokes arguing over whose turn it is to buy more packet, someones kid will have lost a set of teeth, and an air ambulance will probably be landing because Dave thought it’d be a good idea to do a backflip off the shed roof into two feet of water.
When Guinness World Records stopped tracking the record for the most beer consumed in one hour in 1989, the title was still held by 23-year-old Jack Keyes. He had set the mark two decades earlier in Northern Ireland, reportedly drinking 36 pints in a single hour in 1969.
Thirty-six pints in sixty minutes. That’s one pint every 100 seconds—a rate so extreme it seems to challenge the limits of human physiology.
A standard pint contains 568 milliliters, meaning Jack Keyes reportedly drank more than 20 liters of beer in a single hour in Belfast in 1969. For comparison, the human stomach comfortably holds about one liter at a time.
Keyes was only 23 years old when he set the record. It remained untouched in the Guinness books for two decades before Guinness World Records quietly discontinued the category in 1989, citing concerns about encouraging dangerous drinking behavior.
There was no grand finale and no last attempt to break it. The record was simply retired, leaving Keyes permanently listed as its final holder.
Ironically, Guinness World Records itself originated from a disagreement in a pub. In 1951, Sir Hugh Beaver, managing director of the Guinness brewery, became involved in an argument over which European game bird was the fastest. When no definitive source could settle the debate, he saw an opportunity and commissioned a reference book to answer such questions. That idea eventually grew into the world-famous Guinness World Records.
2017: Nigel Farage in the European Parliament complaining about perceived foreign interference in Brexit
2026: Nigel Farage saying that foreign based crypto billionaire gave him £5,000,000 as a reward for campaigning for Brexit