Robb Jeffries

American humorist, journalist-for-hire and beer industry professional. Found here: Lukewarm sports takes, other observations.

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

NO! NO!!!!

[Shams Charania @ShamsCharania]

BREAKING: The Charlotte Hornets are trading star guard LaMelo Ball and Josh Green to the Minnesota Timberwolves for Naz Reid, a 2033 unprotected first-round pick, three first-round pick swaps (2028, 2029, 2030) and three second-round picks (2029, 2032, 2033), sources tell ESPN.

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

The Vikings cribbed Iceland’s crowd chant for the Skol Chant, so maybe PJ Fleck’s RTB Gophers will steal Norway’s boat row?

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Is there a more impactful midseason trade for a Minnesota team than Dosunmu? Shannon Stewart maybe?

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Can someone explain using small words why the #Vikings answer for a QB who missed 24 games in 2 seasons is a QB who missed 26 games the last 4 seasons?

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Bam scoring 83 confirms we are on the darkest timeline… Washington deserves to be relegated to the G League for this reason alone

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

@mnhousegop On a day to celebrate love, you choose to put forth hate. No wonder you tone deaf fools will get crushed at midterms.

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Gotta say it, the amount of AI-centric commercials during the Super Bowl is upsetting as hell

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Been quiet for a while but jumping back on here to beg the @Timberwolves to please practice their free throw shooting

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

State Fair’s gonna be crazy today

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Homecoming: Panthers and Vikings are finalizing a trade for WR Adam Thielen to return to Minnesota, sources tell ESPN.

The trade: Vikings get Thielen, a conditional 2026 seventh-round pick and a 2027 fifth-round pick.

Panthers get a 2026 fifth-round pick and a 2027 fourth-round pick.

Thielen starred for the Vikings from 2013-2022. Now he returns.

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Hey @Twins I’m good for 3 innings out of the pen tonight, I’m on 20 years’ rest

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Whoever is the only person to not vote for Ichiro — turn in your BBWAA card immediately. What a joke. How could you look at his career and not think he’s an HOFer??

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Also, 25 and sunny is grilling weather. Just saying for no particular reason.

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

JFK, FDR, Obama and Carter all had outdoor inaugurations in below freezing temperatures. I guess that’s why they call Dems snowflakes? 🤷‍♂️

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

For the record, the media didn’t invent this divide. But when one of the candidates champions skepticism and violence against the media, can you really blame them, as humans, for adopting an us vs. them mentality?

[Dominique Clare @DomClare]

ABC out here saying "we" and "us" when talking about Kamala. Bruh 😂😂😂😂😂

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Waffle House encouraging unity this election season

[Waffle House @WaffleHouse]

in the house, we all waffles.

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Something something blizzard of ‘93

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Wild night last night ended peacefully as Sawchak was taken into custody. If I may editorialize a bit: @MinneapolisPD did an impressive (albeit tardy) job of seeking every possible avenue to avoid violence. I wish that approach was used in every case.

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Reporting live from my backyard, Minneapolis SWAT has been issuing orders over a loudspeaker to have John Sawchak exit his home and surrender on charges of attempted murder #MPD

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

@CNN_Sarah Alley video was shot by me, the skid-steer video was shot by a Matt News Service colleague

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Reporting live from my backyard, Minneapolis SWAT has been issuing orders over a loudspeaker to have John Sawchak exit his home and surrender on charges of attempted murder #MPD

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

@CNN_Sarah I can authorize use, but please credit myself and my outlet — Robb Jeffries / Matt News Service

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

Things have ground to a halt and I’ve been keeping and eye on this thing for 8 hours, so I’m going to bail out. Follow and subscribe to your local news sources, folks, they keep people like me employed!

[Robb Jeffries @robbjeffries]

It’s an MPD-branded skid steer, and it’s driving up my alley to get after the back of the house