Rachel

Blather, rinse, repeat

[Rachel @robot_2021]

Hey guys who PM me pictures of their penis: did you know if you put a good slick of Vick’s vapour-rub on that, it increases the size by 20%? Try it! It really works!

[Jacklena Bentley @JacklenaB]

Bullies.

[Rachel @robot_2021]

First one to come up with a plausible conspiracy theory linking #metadown and the chap arrested for killing the CEO in NY gets a mince pie.

[Visegrád 24 @visegrad24]

An old Polish joke from communist times:

A man walks into a shop and sees the shelves are empty.

He says: "Oh, so you have no meat?"

The shopkeeper replies: "Sir, this is the shop with no fish. The shop with no meat is across the street."

[Rachel @robot_2021]

Finally reached acceptance with my singleton status

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@dickkimble10 Lifting advice or dating advice?

[Rachel @robot_2021]

Dear American men, get a vasectomy. It may be the only way you are ever getting laid again

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@SamGoodman990 It's fine. They are too young to have been tortured for science yet. 🙄

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@EmergMedDr Clutching at straws but maybe it's to force you to rewash your hands after using the bin? Obviously it's batshit though!

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@eicarttracie But can you wait till after the team meeting or at least go to another room to do it?

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@jdkingwrites That's marvellous. Good for you. Keep going.

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is ‘recrudescence’ (17th century): the return of something terrible after a time of reprieve.

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@kenwhild I am only 5ft 3 so honestly it doesn't matter a bit to me.

[Rachel @robot_2021]

Who is going to let the really tall guys on dating apps that we don't want them after 50 because they just get sick and die earlier and that the 5ft 9 guys are a more logical bet? 😈

[Rachel @robot_2021]

Taking applications for lavender marriages at this point #blessedbethefruit

[Rachel @robot_2021]

Really worried about this brain virus in America - seems to have taken over during the last week.

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@girl_tinder I need some!!!! I can't have them due to allergies so I don't have my own stash 😖 but I have an amazing millionaires cheesecake receipe. And ramekin envy now too

[Bill @CageFooName]

I've never liked The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I didn't even finish the book. The caterpillar is just a fat knob who just eats holes in everything. Doesn't even finish them. There are people starving in the world and he chooses violence against food

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@bushontheradio Scraping the windscreen when it's cold

[Rachel @robot_2021]

@kenwhild I am interested in the cognitive dissonance created by this. Love the planet but need the companionship of a cat so a whole new farming industry to feed the cat. Shipped by fossil fuel vehicles. Cat still prefers to eat rare voles.

[Rachel @robot_2021]

Insect based cat food. 😳 Discuss