Joanna Borns

Writer / Producer. [email protected]

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

love 2 order girl scout cookies

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

It finally happened. I saw a shirt I really wanted and it was for dogs.

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

But also maybe I'll be safe when the singularity comes

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

I chose the worst possible handle for someone who doesn't want to interact with AI bros.

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

I would only sell this handle for seven figures

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

I wrote some helpful nutrition advice

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

"Of course you can still eat other things you enjoy like fruits, pastas, and even brownies. As long as those fruits, pastas, and brownies are made from a slurry of broken-down animal parts and molded into the shapes of those respective foods." https://t.co/RiZ2iKqrTP

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

Just chugged buncha seed oil

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

I'm on bluesky. Idk

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

The haters said I'd never post another stranger's diary video but https://t.co/1QBd4u3s0g

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

Did it hurt? When Moo Deng bit you?

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

Is it bad that the guy making my chipotle called me a "trooper" because of my order?

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

I have a very particular set of skills. (Seeing food spilled on the sidewalk and knowing with 100% certainty when it's Chipotle)

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

I love being in a loud restaurant with bad acoustics because you can say "yum yum yum" out loud and no one will hear you.

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

I just saw a woman walking down the street with green hair and a black and white striped shirt. Was she going for Beetlejuice or did she have no idea? It kills me that I will never know.

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

I help my community all the time. I hit one spotted lantern fly with my car.

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

A chicken? Oh, you mean egg mommy.

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

After a day at the beach I expect to look like a sexy, windswept swimsuit model but I just look like someone who went through a difficult experience.

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

The Seine? Ohhhhh you mean Poop River.

[The Associated Press @AP]

Unsafe levels of E. coli found in Paris' Seine River less than 2 months before Olympics https://t.co/NuagC5SKiS

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

Been getting a lot of mileage out of the barf emoji lately

[Joanna Borns @robotics]

Today I heard a gen Z say "like studio 54 in the 80s" and it was a stark reminder that younger generations weren't forced to get a cultural education from VH1 at 11 years old.

[McSweeney's @mcsweeneys]

"Let’s get down to the facts. Four out of five doctors think that you’re repulsive."
https://t.co/ZwRO5jDF8O