Ryan

WWFC

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

@cfcinky Ah ok got ya ffs I’ve been sitting here scratching my head

[Ryan @roc_93]

@subminmorefire @depepehawe @LegacySiu Definitely didn’t

[Ryan @roc_93]

@LegacySiu Pique

[Ryan @roc_93]

Just seen a fully grown bloke wearing the same Pyjamas I bought my kids. Xmas eh? Strange ain’t it.

[Ryan @roc_93]

@BamcheUtd York city

[Ryan @roc_93]

@EYakoby Good man

[Ireland Football ⚽️🇮🇪 @IrelandFootball]

Troy Parrott, take your place on the pantheon of Irish greats 🇮🇪

[ً @ProudieYT]

One more to go 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏆

[England @England]

One more. Turn the page.

[Ryan @roc_93]

Is having your heated seats on full whack for 5 hours a day the same as physio?

[Ryan @roc_93]

@Kaired234 Yeah I suppose conceding nearly 50 goals each in 26 games isn’t too bad with an average of conceding twice per game.

[Ryan @roc_93]

Trust Haaland and KDB to get a Hat-trick of goals and assists not in the FPL. Fantasy football really does ruin football for ya #FACUP #ManCity

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

“A day without laughter is a day wasted”

[Ryan @roc_93]

My FPL luck summed up in a single game. Transfers Foden out for KDB. Foden scores a Hat-Trick.
Thank you and goodnight #FPL

[Footy Accumulators @FootyAccums]

🚨 Wolves sporting director Matt Hobbs was handed a one-game suspension for calling referee Anthony Taylor "absolutely f****** useless", the FA has confirmed.

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

Of all the clubs for VAR to have an agenda against, Wolves is a strange choice.

[Ryan @roc_93]

@tSHandJ John Awning Riise 🇳🇴

[Ryan @roc_93]

When your controller dies

[The Upshot podcast @UpshotTowers]

Kolo Toure went to ridiculous lengths to get laid.

For two years, the City defender led a secret double life, posing as a used car salesman to woo his student mistress.

From secret families to surprises in the shower, this is the story of Kolo's con trick...

Our story begins in the 2am drizzle outside a Manchester nightclub.

After deploying his famous Ivorian charm, Kolo Toure swaps numbers with 22-year-old student Kessel Kasuisyo.

The pair agree to meet at a hotel the next day.

To keep his identity a secret, Kolo cooks up an elaborate alter ego.

He is Francois, a successful Ghanaian car salesman named, who moved to Manchester as a student.

“I told him he looked familiar” Kessel later recalled, “but he just said maybe he looks like somebody.

"He said he sold cars in Africa and did some charity work.”
Not a football fan, Kessel has no clue who he really is.

Over two years, Kolo lives a double life, sneaking round to the student’s council flat disguised with a baseball cap and a pair of Top Gun aviators.

He buys her “sexy white lingerie”, and calls from private numbers so she “doesn't waste her money calling.”

And the act doesn't stop there.

In an Oscar-worthy performance, Toure gets down on one knee with a diamond ring, professing his love.

And when he disappears for a few months, he has an explanation for that too.

Kolo claims he was back in Ghana flogging second hand Range Rovers, but the reality is slightly different.

He was in the Ivory Coast… marrying his actual wife.
So how is Kolo’s exhausting charade eventually rumbled?

The City defender always insisted his student lover didn’t take any photos of him, but one day, she sneakily grabs one while he's in the shower.
She shows the picture to a friend, who instantly recognises the footballing megastar and urges her to google “Kolo Toure”.

After discovering photos of her beau lifting the Premier League trophy, as well as snaps from his recent wedding, the game is up.

Farewell Francois, Ghana’s most celebrated car salesman…