ro

[Pacasso @DrNetas]

Otro libro infantil 😊

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Security called me at 6:12 AM today.

"Patch every PHP server immediately."

I asked what happened.

"Two critical vulnerabilities. Remote code execution. No authentication required."

Cool.

How many PHP servers do we have?

According to inventory: 12

According to reality:

Nobody knows.

We found one running WordPress.

Three running old internal tools.

One under someone's desk.

Two inside vendor appliances.

A forgotten employee directory from 2016.

And a server named:

PHP-OLD-DO-NOT-TOUCH

Naturally, that one runs payroll exports.

Then we found a PHP 5.6 box.

I asked who owned it.

The documentation said:

BRIAN.

Brian left in 2019.

We called Brian.

He said:

"Oh wow, that's still running?"

Excellent.

By 8 AM, leadership joined the incident call.

CEO:

"Can hackers actually get in?"

Security:

"Potentially yes."

CEO:

"Without a password?"

Security:

"Yes."

CEO:

"Then why do WE need passwords?"

Not the lesson.

Finance asked if we could wait until the weekend to patch because downtime affects revenue.

Security explained that the alternative was letting strangers execute code on our servers.

Finance asked for a cost comparison.

At 9:17, someone suggested temporarily taking the vulnerable websites offline.

Marketing refused.

"Our campaign is live."

So for the next hour, the company officially decided maintaining a landing page for 20% off webinar registration was more important than preventing remote server takeover.

We finally patched everything we could find.

Then our scanner discovered another PHP server.

Hostname:

TEMP-PHP-2014

Uptime:

4,512 days.

Nobody knows what it does.

Nobody owns it.

Nobody can shut it down.

But every time we block network access, the warehouse stops printing shipping labels.

Security has classified it as critical infrastructure.

It is running PHP 5.4.

The vulnerability has existed longer than half our employees.

The emergency patch took four hours.

Finding out what PHP actually runs took eleven.

The internet isn't held together with code.

It's held together with servers everyone is afraid to turn off.

[ro @rocabrerae]

Se infartan si supieran que BBVA se cae cada 4 meses 🤣🤣

[Max Rovensky @MaxRovensky]

a 6 hour (so far) FULL OUTAGE across EVERY SYSTEM is absolutely deranged for a bank

@Revolut's entire infra team should be fired, holy absolute failure of the most critical aspect of a financial institution - availability

[Pagos Contactless México @PagosCTLSMexico]

Ameniti lanza su SoftPOS para Android:
https://t.co/gz9kggKfEp

[John Ternus @johnternus]

Welcome HomeView

[Светлана ꕤ 🌸 @Luuucilu]

Cleveland! Suena a esto

[Franzi @viaigoreki]

Oh no the alcoholics are getting anorexic

[Señor Doctor Profesor PokeAnestesia @DrPokeAnestesia]

Los Residentes de cierto hospital de Dinamarca ☠️

Que diosito me los cuide a todos, que salgan bien y que manden alv a los directivos...

[pillie eilish @altusazula]

this is my barbenheimer

[riv @ponyoogirl]

hoy acabo oficialmente la copa del mundo y lo único que tengo que decir:

[ro @rocabrerae]

dejen a Melanie en paz!! 😭😭😭

[Tinashe Ola is a POP STAR ⟢ @tinasheola]

The concept of a Big Mac Meal costing more than Melanie Martinez tickets 💀

[ro @rocabrerae]

@mueganobarbon En mi iPhone se me presentó la opción y se hizo en automático sin ningún inconveniente

[La Wendy HQ @LaWendyGuevara]

de Y SI, SI ? hay que pasar a POS YA QUE

[Guti @Gutila5ta]

México dándolo todo para empatar.

Santi Giménez en una esquina:

[beck @cardgani]

hasta aqui llego mi era fifa, nos vemos en 4 años

[beck @cardgani]

ustedes sabían que las tarjetas amarillas y rojas que sacan en los partidos son multas reales que tienen que pagar, los descubrí hoy

[Oximorónico @Oximoronico]

Hay un tipo de flyer con IA que está usando todo el mundo. Me tiene harto, parece todo lo mismo. Es una pesadilla salida de Dialéctica de la Ilustración

[🦭 @shallowthenhaIo]

feeding chocolate to a dog before putting it down

[ro @rocabrerae]

please ya no pongan súper estrella; cada que la ponen muere un hada