rodd heff

heff awntawp bitches

[John Fadule @fadule_]

-sending a text in your groupchat and getting 6 HAHA reacts
-busting inside your crush
-lifting weights in the Sun blasting white girl pop throwbacks
-when a hot girl’s dog immediately loves you
-Harry Potter marathon while it’s snowing
-December 26th-30th
-partying with the Seniors when you were a Sophomore
-being at a concert looking around the crowd realizing ‘wow life is a miracle I’m so lucky to be alive’

[CooperBaggs 💰🍞 @edgaralandough]

Apparently the whole
5g of Creatine daily
Bed by 9:00
230 of Protein
Lifting heavy 6X a week
Cardio 4x week
Magnesium & Glycine bed
Full vitamin stack
Whole Foods & Peptides
Wild Roman Skincare routine
Phone on DND
No alcohol
Actually works

[RusticLagers @ArtisanAles1]

Just told the girl on the incline bench that she didn’t have to wipe it down because she looks like she smells nice so she reported me to the front desk and now I have to find a new gym.

Chivalry is dead.

[InfantryDort @infantrydort]

Guys, I don’t care. An actual extra-terrestrial could walk up to me right now and telepathically say hi, and I will telepathically tell it I’m calling ICE.

[kira 👾 @kirawontmiss]

does that say posted in 2022….

[lily @vxylily]

Men only have 5 moods:

1. Constantly horny
2. how we gonna get rich
3. Random 2 am motivation
4. Intense loneliness
5. My family needs me

[💙🌊 Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🌊🖋️🧫 @herotimeszero]

I just spent $80 to fill up my car. A small price to pay to keep the Epstein files hidden.

[Jocko Willink @jockowillink]

Public Execution.

[Wayne Waldrop @WayneWaldropW]

"A freak pickleball accident" but it's actually just Mossad shooting you in the head while you're playing pickleball.

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

Any chance you could fix the road
I'm already taxed to maintain, so I'm not
destroying the car I'm taxed to register
every year—after buying it with taxed
income—so I can drive it to my taxed
home and park it on my taxed
driveway?? Thanks.

[John Fadule @fadule_]

Decisions that will change your life:

-asking for the promotion
-hiring a personal trainer
-standing up to a bully
-calling your cool Uncle to come clean about something bothering you
-breaking up with the girl who you know isn’t right for you
-separating from friends you only have fun with when you’re partying
-getting started on your secret passion project (the thing you daydream about when you’re sober)
-asking out your crush
-throwing away the junk food in your kitchen
-putting an end to the bad habit that is keeping you from your full potential (the habit you don’t think life can be “fun” without)

Don’t be a do-nothing doughboy. Be the jacked healthy hero you daydreamed about being when you were 15 :)

[Carl Higbie @CarlHigbie]

It turns out that LYME disease WAS actually bio warfare engineered by the government!!!!.

[Knoxie @KnoxieLuv]

Too Much 1984…
Not Enough 1776

[conspiracybot @conspiracyb0t]

TUCKER: “How much does it matter what Americans think?”

HUCKABEE: “It matters every bit.”

TUCKER: “80% oppose war with Iran.”

HUCKABEE: “We don’t live in a world where polls dictate policy.”

TUCKER: “Oh, I thought you said it matters what Americans think.”

[Jocko Willink @jockowillink]

The Epstein Files?
Release all.
Sort through them.
Round up the suspects.
Liberal use of polygraphs and “enhanced interrogation” techniques.
Public Executions.
The slow kind.

[Mr. Sausage @MrSausageGet]

We have to revolt, folks.

We need leaders. We cant leave this to our children.

[Gramps @GrandpaHarris65]

Gas prices are soaring.
American soldiers are dying.
Pedophiles are being protected.
Inflation is jumping.
The government is murdering citizens.

Are we great yet?

[J.J. Carrell @JJCarrell14]

Why can’t we focus solely on America?

Because our “representatives” are compromised and/or are dual citizens!

We can go 7,000 miles to war BUT ending income tax, deport illegals, put pedos in jail…nah let’s go 7,000 miles!

[rodd heff @RoddHeff]

This isn’t fucking new!!!!

[Former Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 @FmrRepMTG]

War with Iran is costing American taxpayers $1 billion dollars a day.

Most American tax payers will never receive a Social Security check because it will be bankrupt by 2033.

Most Americans can’t afford health insurance policies because they are so expensive.

Most American families cannot financially survive on a single income, and both parents have to work like slaves in order to feed their children and keep a roof over their heads.

But the Trump administration has decided that these American taxpayers have to spend $1 billion a day to murder people and their children in a foreign country that none of us have ever met and know nothing about.

Incredible MAGA priorities.

[Dr. Simon @goddek]

Zero pedophilia arrests.
Zero election fraud arrests.
Zero Covid arrests.
Zero deep state arrests.
Zero auto-pen arrests.

Instead:
Glyphosate in food.
Protection of child predators.
Escalating debt ceiling.
War against Iran for Israel.

So much winning, it’s exhausting.