Mike Rodick

I’m no rocket surgeon

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Most important skill I’ve learned since starting to work in corporate America is how to yawn with my mouth closed

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Poop beer.

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Probably the most 2010 thing I can think of is annoying orange

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Every 6 months white girls collectively decide to all buy the same water bottle. #whataretheyhidingfromus

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Pro tip: always jerk it before going to the gym or the airport. Girls will look significantly more attractive in these two locations, so it’s wise to get it out of you beforehand.

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

@cackjavanagh3 Cinematic masterpiece

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Blacked out and threw up in my buddies mom’s car. This was the only thing in my camera roll.

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Turns out the girl hasn’t been north of Mississippi

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

When it’s that time of the month, the men get separated from the boys. #expand #barbour

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Was a long night last night.

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Just lied to the faces of two 8 year old girls. I will not be tricked into buying your overpriced cookies. Marketing tactics have gone off the rails lately.

[jerry mcsorley @McsorleyJerry]

Gotta slay some dragons before you find the princess

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Who wants to make martinis and talk about the economy with our legs crossed tonight? I’m hosting.

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Why do I fall I love with every girl I see at the airport and why are they so scary

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Why are there always 4 different languages thrown around the barber shop. We need to stick to one folks, this is confusing

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Ball dropping in 8 minutes. Girls talked to: 1. Have a happy and a healthy

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

My mom left her phone unlocked like this in the kitchen. She’s learning.

[jerry mcsorley @McsorleyJerry]

With the first overall pick in the draft l, I select, Delusion and Happiness

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

Victory villages deadass a fortnite landing spot

[Mike Rodick @rodick_michael]

I played my top song 185 times in 2024. Have a listen. #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/Ls0Duhz3Uj