Roger Pennyworth

[Roger Pennyworth @RogerPworth]

I like my country music at the volume where I can’t hear you complaining about it

[Robert J. O'Neill @mchooyah]

Want me to math the shit out of you? If climate change was real, no bank would finance a 30 year mortgage within 1000 yards of the ocean. And bankers never lie about money.

[Trevor Judge @TrevorJudge]

Color me shocked the Chiefs got away with 3 holds on their first drive of the season

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Travis Kelce wasn’t called for holding here

The Chiefs are so back

[Pub @PubWanghaf]

Oh I’m racist? Then explain why my favorite juror is black

[AB @AB84]

It’s kinda fucked up that teachers get paid more than Fantasy Football Commissioners

[Straight Line USA @StraightLineUSA]

The gayest thing we ever did as a country was not immediately build the twin towers again but taller.

[Rich Allenser @RAllenser]

@Arianikle

[JG @freshprinceofct]

lol paying property taxes on my home

[The Redheaded libertarian @TRHLofficial]

What an odd thing to pardon.

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

Regardless of what you think about how Trump’s doing America’s 250th, we should all thank God we dodged whatever nationwide humiliation ritual Dems had cooked up.

[Johan Jelqington @j3lqingt0n]

If billionaires and trillionaires suddenly disappeared overnight, everything would get worse for me. If everyone on SNAP disappeared, everything would get better.

[C3 @C_3C_3]

After 4 years of men wearing dresses at the White House it is important to have men cage fighting at the White House.

The only way to reverse the damage done.

It’s science.

[Barry @BarryOnHere]

I wonder what the girls from 2 Girls 1 Cup are doing. Are they even still alive? Do they have husbands who are unaware of their past? So many questions.

[Andrew Torba @BasedTorba]

Kinda tough to celebrate USA 250 when half the country is filled with enemy combatants who don't belong here.

[doomer @uncledoomer]

if america were a serious country we'd be doing regime change in france right fucking now

[Big Timi @OrevaZSN]

YouTubers be like “wake up at 4am and run, that’s alpha!” No, it’s not. Look at apex predators; they’re all lazy. Bears hibernate, lions sleep all day. You know who wakes up at 4am and runs? Squirrels.

[mads campbell @martyrdison]

the great thing about having an ex that is poor is knowing you’ll never run into them at the places you frequent because they can’t afford it

[AltAzn @Alt_Azn]

My liberal mom friends on Facebook post nonstop about how they hate Trump.

My conservative mom friends on Facebook post nonstop about their children.

[aarøn. @ayroned]

If the special teams coach in dark knight rises didn’t die in the explosion he for sure got fired for giving up a opening kickoff tud to hines ward slow ass

[WyattzWorld @WyattzWorId]

Don’t get me wrong, I’m ready for summer, but the thought of a crisp October Sunday full of football gives me butterflies